Is anyone else growing weary of the contentiousness in professional cycling these days?

I mean, come on. It’s enough to make you go cross-eyed.

ASO vs. Astana, UCI vs. ASO, Leclerc vs. McQuaid, French Cycling Federation vs. UCI, UCI Pro Tour teams vs. UCI, Vierbruggen vs. WADA, UCI vs. Pound, UCI vs. WADA, motorists vs. cyclists, USADA vs. Landis, the Germans vs. Ullrich, Leogrande vs. USADA, AEG vs. Puerto 3, IRS vs. Thomas, LeMond vs. Trek, Trek vs. LeMond, Rock Racing vs. Tour de Georgia, Rock Racing vs. Medalist Sports, Lance clean vs. Lance doped, everybody’s out to get everybody else before everybody else gets them, and BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH.

ENOUGH ALREADY!!!

Hello??!! Has anyone in the big offices noticed that big-time, long-term, high-dollar sponsors are bolting right and left? Discovery Channel. T-Mobile. CSC. Skoda even.

SKODA!!!!!

Just when cycling seems to be on the verge of a world-wide breakthrough in popularity, and it’s booming right here in Missouri — MISSOURI!!! – all of the infighting and bickering and lawyering is DRAGGING THE SPORT THROUGH MUCK far worse than the lads will endure this weekend in Paris-Roubaix (which is one of the all-time cool, tough-guy endurance sporting events by the way).

High-level cycling is such a mess that it’s almost beyond belief. Yeah, yeah, I’m sure all sides in all of the above disputes have points and counterpoints, and I’m sure there’s merit in some of whatever it is they’re saying …  but, really, doesn’t it seem like they’re all cutting off their noses to spite their faces?

One need look no further for proof than Amaury Sports Organization, which owns the fabled Tour de France. I mean, ASO BANNED ITS DEFENDING CHAMPION over his new team’s past doping scandals that HE HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH!!!

How bad is that?

And how about LeMond vs. Trek and vise-(vs.)versa? Both seem intent on BRAND SUICIDE, self-mutiliating their respective good names. And guess who’s gonna suffer the most in their courtroom faceoff? It ain’t them. Nope. This nasty, bitter divorce could hurt the most vulnerable little ones in all of cycling — the hard-working, independent bike shop owners who sell Treks and LeMonds and operate on 23mm profit margins even in the best of times.

Memo to Trek and LeMond: SELL BIKES.

I could go on and on and on … and I could even slide in a reference RIGHT HERE to somebody somewhere at some time, maybe a few years ago in a coffee shop, coming right out and telling me — ME!!! – that so-and-so doped and then I could leave … that … little … tidbit … hanging … out … there … with no followup and no corroboration and no nothing, and maybe, just maybe, my stupid little THROWAWAY LINE would get MENTIONED IN A LAWSUIT!  

But the last thing we need is another lawsuit, eh?

My advice to the combatants, litigants and protaganists: JUST SHUT UP AND RACE!

Thank you.

(The preceding rant has been brought to you by the committee to elect ol’ 10 Speed the Czar of Cycling.)

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