Rush to the Rams: What if?
MEQUON, Wis. (Camp Day 5/late report)
So, talk-show host Rush Limbaugh is interested in buying the Rams. If he persuades Chip Rosenbloom to sell (extremely unlikely), should we expect that:
*Al Saunders would not be permitted to make liberal use of his playbook?
*Steven Jackson would be ordered to run right only?
*The team would get a volume discount on painkillers?
*Dick Cheney would be put in charge of the shotgun formation?
*St. Louis fans never would have to worry about the team moving back to the Left Coast?
*The Melonheads of old would resurface as Dittoheads.
*Jim Haslett would get an unlimited budget to beef up the defense? (But he’d have to report to Donald Rumsfeld.)
*Marques Hagans would never, ever line up at quarterback again?
*The Rams’ most loyal fans would be known as Neocon Nation.
*The Edward Jones Dome would be renamed “Conservative Coliseum”? (Unless Al Franken purchased the naming rights, in which case it might be the “Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot Arena.”
Just wonderin’ . . .
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The Steven Jackson Watch:
*Days out: 5
*Practices missed: 7
*Fine total: $75,000
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Notes & quotes:
>>Newly signed DT Henry Smith was given No. 54, which normally would go to a linebacker (it’s Brandon Chillar’s old number). But because of injuries, the Rams didn’t have any jerseys left with the usual defensive lineman numbers.
>>New K Josh Brown nailed a 61-yard field goal during special-teams drills, and the wind wasn’t helping him.
>>T Orlando Pace is increasing contact incrementally. He still hasn’t taken part in the rugged one-on-one matches.
>>DT Adam Carriker, limited early in camp, appears to be full-go now.
>>It seems as if second-year WR Derek Stanley produces a head-turning catch every day. He made a leaping, twisting grab in the end zone Tuesday on the last play of practice.
>>Rookie DTs Vernon Bryant and Willie Williams have impressed with their raw strength.
>>Just visiting: John Clayton of ESPN.
>>Be sure to click here to see Chris Lee’s camp photos.
All for now . . . more Wednesday from two-a-days.
BEEN A RAM FAN SINCE 1967. IF RUSH BECOMES OWNER WILL HAVE TO THINK ABOUT FINDING A NEW TEAM. AT LEAST WHILE HE’S THE OWNER. CANT STAND THE MAN.