Good morning.

Gotta love the Internet.

When word got out that Mark Lamping was leaving the Cardinals after 13 years as team president to accept an offer to become the CEO of the new Meadowlands football-stadium and entertainment complex, the Oliver Stone wannabes immediately rushed to their laptops to speculate all sorts of things —  straight out of the What’s The Frequency Kenneth? playbook.

xx Lamping was forced out.

xx Lamping wanted out.

xx This means the team is for sale, so Lamping is scrambling to get away ASAP.  Sure. Lamping could never survive the sale of the team. Oh, wait a minute…. he was the team president when the Cardinals were sold in 1995. Just ruined the guy’s career, didn’t it?

xx Bill DeWitt Jr. is selling the franchise, so he’s downsizing. Got it. Right. Obviously the best move DeWitt could do to maximize a sale is to chase off his No. 1 executive who has played a huge role in dramatically elevating attendance, revenue, and franchise value.  Chase off Lamping, and by doing so, lower the value of your franchise before you sell it. Brilliant logic!

xx Lamping really wanted to be Bill DeWitt Jr’s son, so he was secretly jealous of Bill DeWitt III.

xx Other DeWitts were plotting to grab Lamping and drown him in Lake DeWitt, beyond center field.

xx Lamping was really, really opposed to the Kyle Lohse signing.

xx Lamping secretly hates Budweiser and toasted ravioli and Crown Candy banana-chocolate malteds and all those happy fans wearing red.

xx Speezer was spotted on the grassy knoll.

xx Lamping just had to flee from all this misery — HE HAD TO RUN FOR HIS LIFE BEFORE THE DEWITTS DESTROYED HIM FOREVER!!!

(OK, sorry. Lost it there for a second).  

But may I politely ask: are you folks fruit loops? 

Is this some type of genetic thing, that forces you to automatically reach the worst and most sinister conclusion about everything?

I apologize for being sane — really, I do — but please permit me to try and ease the suspicious minds who simply can’t help themselves from concocting bizarro theories.  

And the simple truth? Lamping had nothing left to achieve here.

That’s it. Really.

(Yeah, you say — but what about the Ballpark Village? No, sorry, Sparky. He’s not involved in that project. Never has been).

And Lamping doesn’t run the baseball operation.

He doesn’t trade for players, sign free agents, supervise the draft or the minors. He did assist DeWitt Jr. in the interviews of general manager candidates last fall, but that’s about it on the baseball side.

From the business-marketing-administrative standpoint, let’s look at what Lamping has done with the Cardinals. Let’s look at his checklist of things to do…

Celebrate the phasing out of the old Busch stadium — check.

Develop and open the new Busch stadium – check.

Modifications to the new stadium — check.

Record-setting team revenues — check.

Record-setting home attendance — check.

Long-term media deals in place for TV-radio — check.

Being honored approximately 1,296 times for various Man of the Year awards in the STL — check.

Get an upcoming MLB All-Star game here — check.

Sell, sell, sell, everything that has a Cardinal logo — check, check, check.

So, pray tell — what the heck was keeping Lamping here? I assume he loves to eat linguine on The Hill, and maybe he likes to watch his alma mater (Vianney) play soccer on occasion, but what else?

Lamping has been in the same job for a long time. He’s lived in the same town virtually his entire life.

Lamping has had other chances to leave, but didn’t want to uproot his wife, Cheryl, and their three kids.

But the little Lampings are all grown up now. They’re ages 26, 23 and 19. They don’t live at home.

If any married couple was ready for a new adventure, it was Mark and Cheryl.

He’s 49, and the years go by pretty fast.

Lamping had a big move left in him.

And it just so happens that TWO PRESTIGIOUS NFL TEAMS, after sorting through dozens of top sports executives in North America wanted HIM to supervise the construction, operation, and all facets of a WORLD-CLASS, $1.4 BILLION, STADIUM-ENTERTAINMENT COMPLEX that qualifies as the the MOST AMBITIOUS STADIUM PROJECT IN NFL HISTORY. And it’s  situated 12 miles from THE MOST EXCITING CITY ON THE PLANET. 

And the Giants and the Jets chose Lamping from 16 final candidates, and chose him after an intensive round of interviews, which is pretty damned flattering… and they offered him a boatload of money… lots and lots of money… and a five-year deal… and Mark and Cheryl have a chance to live in Manhattan, to see what it’s like on the biggest stage of them all. And he can hire his own staff to run everything. He can be Trump. And if he misses St. Louis, one day he can come back, because he’s exceptional at what he does, and there will be a prominent spot for him in this market if he wants it.

And why would Lamping turn that down? It makes perfect sense for him to take on this new challenge at this stage of his life, and his career. He’d be crazy not to do it. Not as loopy as the What’s the Frequency Kenneth? folks, but awfully close…

–B