Yo, Cardinals fans: do you feel sorry for the Cubs?

Even just a little?

OK, dumb question …

Let the new century of futility begin. The Cubs’ shocking departure in the first round of the NL playoffs was just more of the same.

Figures that an ex-Cardinals player and manager, Joe Torre, would take the Cubs down this time. Torre’s Los Angeles Dodgers made it look easy, sweeping the dreadful Cubs in three games.

The North Siders haven’t won a World Series since 1908, and I have to admit that I thought this year’s collection of high-priced talent would change the course of history.

I’ve never fully bought into this idea that the Cubs are cursed. I get tired of hearing about Bartman, the Billy Goat, the Black Cat and all of the other ”Greatest Hits” from the Cubs’ sad October playlist. It gets old. And it seems foolish. And the Cubs for some stupid reason enjoy perpetuating this “curse” craziness. For instance, why did the Cubs bring in a Greek Orthodox priest to sprinkle holy water in their dugout before Game 1? It was a silly, senseless, attention-drawing stunt. Why put that stuff into the players’ heads and make the Cubs start thinking of all the past postseason failures?

The 2008 Cubs were put together with a lot of money, with more than $500 million in new player contracts over the last two-plus seasons. The 2008 Cubs seemed to be a good investment; they led the NL in runs scored this season, and they had strong starting pitching, and a fearsome closer, and they played sound baseball in the field, and on the bases.

But it all fell apart in three games to the Dodgers.

Just as it did last season in a three-game sweep by Arizona that sent the Cubs home after the first round in 2007.

In going 0-6 in the last two seasons, the Cubs scored only 12 runs and batted .218. They went 7 for 51 with runners in scoring position in the six losses. Key performers such as Alfonso Soriano (3 for 28) and Aramis Ramirez (2 for 32) were MIA. And even though Derrek Lee stroked some hits, he failed to drive in a run in the six losses.

After the Cubs were thrashed by the Dodgers in Game 2, Cubs manager Lou Piniella was overheard challenging a few of his players, including Soriano and Ramirez. Piniella used the word “cojones” in the conversation.

Apparently the cojones — and the bats — didn’t make the trip to Game 3 in LA …

It’s obvious that the postseason pressure got to the Cubs — again.  During the regular season, they had the best onbase percentage in the NL, but hacked at everything the Dodgers lobbed at them in the three games, and struck out 24 times. They played atrocious defense. And starting pitchers Ryan Dempster, Carlos Zambrano and Rich Harden wavered when the Cubs needed a lights-out performance from them.

The 2008 Cubs became the ninth team in the last 14 seasons to lead their league in wins, only to get eliminated in the first round.

It makes me appreciate Tony La Russa even more. The Cardinals manager has had his problems in the Championship Series and the World Series, but he’s done a masterful job of getting his Cardinals through the first round. La Russa’s NLDS record is an astoundingly good 20-5. He lost only one NLDS, in 2001 to the Arizona Diamondbacks that had Curt Schilling and Randy Johnson making four of the five starts. And in that one, the Cardinals weren’t eliminated until the bottom of the ninth inning of the fifth and decisive game.

I thought Piniella would make a difference; he seemed tough enough to push the Cubs through all this “curse” nonsense, once and for all.

But Lou is building his own history of stunning postseason failures.

True, his 1990 Cincinnati Reds defeated La Russa’s mighty Oakland A’s in a four-game World Series sweep. But since that triumph, Piniella’s postseason record is 15-25.

Not only is Piniella 0-6 as the Cubs’ manager in the posteason, but he’s lost eight straight postseason games and 10 of his last 11.

Piniella’s 2001 Seattle Mariners won 116 games in the regular season, only to get ejected in five games by the Yankees in the ‘01 ALCS. And during Piniella’s eight-game postseason losing streak, his teams have scored only 16 runs.

What the heck is going on here?

How do you win 97 games and send eight players to the All-Star Game, as the Cubs did this season, only to show up for the postseason and look so lifeless?

The Cubs franchise is 18-50 in the postseason since winning that World Series in 1908.

So despite spending about a half-billion dollars to try and buy a pennant and a World Series title, the Cubs have won exactly the same amount of postseason games as the Cardinals over the last two seasons:

ZERO.

“The organization tried the Greek priest,” Piniella told reporters before Game 3. “I don’t know what the hell else to do.’’

How about an exorcism?

Thanks for reading…

-B