JUPITER, Fla. — With every outing this spring, Cardinals righthander Todd Wellemeyer is pitching for the title that will be on his baseball card, be it starter or reliever, but he already has the business cards with his preferred title.

They read: “Col. Todd A. Wellemeyer.”

“Always wanted to be a Colonel,” Wellemeyer said. “There’s no other Colonel I’d rather be.”

Last year, Wellemeyer, a native of Louisville, Ky., received a certificate from the Governor of the state welcoming him as a member of the Honorable Order of Kentucky Colonels. Think a British knighthood, bluegrass-style. The 77-year-old organization was organized to promote the Commonwealth of Kentucky and its citizens, while recognizing a varied sort — from Whoopi Goldberg to Tiger Woods, Ashley Judd to Norman Schwarzkopf, and even two kings, Elvis Presley and Richard Petty.

Wellemeyer has always marched to the best of a different bongo. He said at one point last year he was trying to “unplug” from a electricity-addicted society, withdrawing into a stack of books that seemed stolen from a college kid’s backpack. Physics, golden ratio, stuff. Of course, it was only a few days later that he outfitted the bullpen with Nintendo DS, hand-held video game units and organized a massive Mario Cart tournament.

Eccentric doesn’t begin to cover this Colonel.

On the mound, he a bit more predictable. Wellemeyer pitched 3 2/3 innings against the Marlins on Thursday, leaving the game with the score tied, 2-2. He had what could be a typical outing. Four walks. Four strikeouts. A couple hits. So on. So forth. Wellemeyer struck out two batters in the first inning and got help from a strikeout-throwout double play in the second. Pitching coach Dave Duncan raved about the first inning and said Wellemeyer had a sharp enough slider he didn’t need anything but it and the fastball for the first three innings. 

He stayed away from his changeup until the fourth inning and that was when he fell into trouble. Duncan believes Wellemeyer’s legs gave out on the Colonel during a hot, humid afternoon at Roger Dean Stadium.

“You’re working on stuff, too,” Wellemeyer said.

Done talking baseball, he wowed us with his knowledge of his home state, including the growth of Louisville into the top-20 cities in the country, according to population. Afterward, I said, “Thanks, Mr. Wellemeyer.” And he replied: “Colonel.” Colonel, right. Kentucy. Got it. Like the seven-herbs-and-spices guru or the basketball team? That’s when he let me in on the title other reporters had been talking about before I arrived. He received a certificate from then-Governor Ernie Fletcher last year. He just ordered 200 more official business cards, and, there in his wallet is the proof.

He is literally card-carrying Colonel.

“They offer a Colonel license plate,” he said. “I will be getting one of those.”

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