The Silver Seams: Best movie lineup
TOWER GROVE — The Post-Dispatch’s mirthful Mr. Joe Holleman offers up his “nine favorite baseball movies” in this morning’s paper and invites readers to cast votes for their favorites.
Hard to quibble with Holleman’s bulletproof lineup of movies, especially ”Bingo Long”, though the book is better, if you can find it. Major League is clearly No. 1, and Major League 2 is underrated, especially with Omar Epps turn as Willie Mays Hayes.
That said, what would an All-Star lineup of baseball movies characters look like? EW.com offers its baseball movie MVPs, but try filling out an actual lineup. Could you pit a fictional band of All-Stars against ones from biopics and other non-fiction retellings? (I.e., Would Tommy Lee Jones’ Ty Cobb go in spikes-high on Megan Cavanagh’s Marla Hooch?)
Raise the curtain. Here’s the:
THE SILVER SEAMS
- Starting pitcher: Steve Nebraska (The Scout)
- Strikeout setup man: Henry Rowengartner (Rookie of the Year)
- Closer: Rick “Wild Thing” Vaughn, of course
- Catcher: Crash Davis
- First Base: Clue Haywood (Major League)
- Second base: Marla Hooch (A League of Their Own)
- Third base: Dottie Hinson, a position change until Crash retires
- Shortstop: Benny “The Jet” Rodriguez (The Sandlot)
- Left field: Shoeless Joe Jackson (Field of Dreams, if he’s hitting righthanded, it’s fiction)
- Center field: Willie Mays Hayes
- Right field: Roy Hobbs
- Power on the bench: Dennis Haysbert. Yes, the actor, Mr. President, see he can be two bats for one roster spot — Max “Hammer” Dubois (Mr. Baseball) and Pedro Cerrano (Major League).
- Defense, speed, promising talent to nurture: Esquire Joe Callaway (Bingo Long)
The Lineup
- Hayes, CF
- Rodriguez, SS
- Jackson, LF
- Hobbs, RF
- Haywood, 1B
- Davis, C
- Hinson, 3B
- Nebraska, RHP (wink)
- Hooch, 2B
Got a better one? Got a non-fiction one?
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Derrick Goold said he was going to Mizzou for capital-J journalism, but after growing up in the Time Zone Baseball Forgot he was really drawn to MU sitting between two major-league cities. Goold joined the Post-Dispatch in 2001 after working for The Times-Picayune and Rocky Mountain News, covering sports from LSU to NHL and every level of baseball in between. 
Scrapper on the bench - Moonlight Graham (Bo Hart could play the role)
I’d pick Henry Wiggen for my starter (Bang the Drum Slowly)
The pitcher batting 8th? Now we know the lineup is fictional. Who in their right mind would do that?
But have seen that Nebraska kid hit?
I would have to go with Ebby Calvin “Nuke” Laloosh as my starter and Jim Morris as my setup man. I don’t know how Holleman left The Rookie and The Bad News Bears off his list, but Bull Durham has to be the winner.
Okay but what about the days that Nebraska doesn’t pitch. I’d be tempted to keep that bat in the lineup. If that LaLoosh kid would ever develop, I’d be tempted to make him the ace and slide Nebraska into the everyday lineup.
What about Billy Chapel, the pitcher from For the Love of the Game? He threw a no-hitter and was, according to the announcers, a lock for the Hall of Fame.
I would prefer Jack Elliot (Tom Selleck, Mr. Baseball) playing first base.
Gotta have Jamie Don Weeks (Dermot Mulroney) at second over Marla Hooch and Stud Cantrell (William Petersen) and Joe Louis Brown (Larry Riley) available off the bench. The movie “Long Gone” never gets its due!
I’m sorry but you guys are leaving out the two best players in baseball movie history. (not suprising because they were bad movies). This lineup clearly needs
Stan Ross (Mr. 300)
Bobby Rayburn (The Fan). Rayburn is supposed to be Barry Bonds