The Silver Seams: Best movie lineup
TOWER GROVE — The Post-Dispatch’s mirthful Mr. Joe Holleman offers up his “nine favorite baseball movies” in this morning’s paper and invites readers to cast votes for their favorites.
Hard to quibble with Holleman’s bulletproof lineup of movies, especially ”Bingo Long”, though the book is better, if you can find it. Major League is clearly No. 1, and Major League 2 is underrated, especially with Omar Epps turn as Willie Mays Hayes.
That said, what would an All-Star lineup of baseball movies characters look like? EW.com offers its baseball movie MVPs, but try filling out an actual lineup. Could you pit a fictional band of All-Stars against ones from biopics and other non-fiction retellings? (I.e., Would Tommy Lee Jones’ Ty Cobb go in spikes-high on Megan Cavanagh’s Marla Hooch?)
Raise the curtain. Here’s the:
THE SILVER SEAMS
- Starting pitcher: Steve Nebraska (The Scout)
- Strikeout setup man: Henry Rowengartner (Rookie of the Year)
- Closer: Rick “Wild Thing” Vaughn, of course
- Catcher: Crash Davis
- First Base: Clue Haywood (Major League)
- Second base: Marla Hooch (A League of Their Own)
- Third base: Dottie Hinson, a position change until Crash retires
- Shortstop: Benny “The Jet” Rodriguez (The Sandlot)
- Left field: Shoeless Joe Jackson (Field of Dreams, if he’s hitting righthanded, it’s fiction)
- Center field: Willie Mays Hayes
- Right field: Roy Hobbs
- Power on the bench: Dennis Haysbert. Yes, the actor, Mr. President, see he can be two bats for one roster spot — Max “Hammer” Dubois (Mr. Baseball) and Pedro Cerrano (Major League).
- Defense, speed, promising talent to nurture: Esquire Joe Callaway (Bingo Long)
The Lineup
- Hayes, CF
- Rodriguez, SS
- Jackson, LF
- Hobbs, RF
- Haywood, 1B
- Davis, C
- Hinson, 3B
- Nebraska, RHP (wink)
- Hooch, 2B
Got a better one? Got a non-fiction one?
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Derrick Goold said he was going to Mizzou for capital-J journalism, but after growing up in the Time Zone Baseball Forgot he was really drawn to MU sitting between two major-league cities. Goold joined the Post-Dispatch in 2001 after working for The Times-Picayune and Rocky Mountain News, covering sports from LSU to NHL and every level of baseball in between. 
re #10: Mr 300. All I keep seeing in my head is a ripped dude yelling to an unsuspecting umpire: “THIS…. IS….. BASEBALL!!”
what? No Love for the games biggest superstar and his better half…
Darryl Palmer in “The Slugger’s Wife. ”
That one touched me…
Henry “Author” Wiggen, from _Bang the Drum Slowly_, could easily be a starter–maybe have a full rotation, including Nebraska, Nuke, and Billy Chapel.
If we’re picking a rotation, then you have to include Amanda Whurlitzer (Bad News Bears) and Bingo Long himself (Lando Calrissian has one wicked curve; ask a Wookie). … No way is any 1B dislodging Vukovich creation Haywood — according to the movie the guy won the Triple Crown! C’mon! … Now the real problem is hiring a manager: Buttermaker or Dugan?
dg
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I think you have to replace Nebraska (SP) with Prof. Vernon K. Simpson (It Happens Every Spring), …once he gets off the Injured Reserve.
If you’re adding a manager, Joe Riggins from “Bull Durham” gets it on the strength of that “lollygagger” speech alone.
so is Butterworth the manager?
Doesn’t this team need coaching? How about Coach Morris Buttermaker? Either Billy Bob Thornton or Walter Matthau from “Bad News Bears”. Billy Bob gets my vote.
How about that monkey infielder from the Matt Leblanc baseball movie “Ed” he had some great defense, and a cannon arm.
The Bingo Long Traveling All-Stars and Motor Kings is available at the U.City library, as well as the headquarters of StL County Library and the Walnut Park Branch in the City. On the Illinois side of the river, SIUC has two copies. If you’re looking for purchase, try the ISBN of 0-06-010449-X or 978-0-06-010449-8.