TOWER GROVE — When I found myself trying to decide between Miguel Batista and Aaron Cook as my No. 5 starter while others were wondering if Cy Young or Steve Carlton would fill out their rotation or whether Randy Johnson has a place in their bullpen, I knew I was out of my league.

In the coming weeks, we’ll have Opening Day of the Seamheads.com Historical Baseball League. Bill James’ all-time Boston Red Sox roster will face Curt Schilling’s all-time Pittsburgh Pirates roster, John Buccigross’ all-time Giants roster (thought he was a puckhead?) will duel Kevin Wheeler’s all-time Houston Astros roster, and all of them will be quaking at their keyboards when playing the combined might of Colorado and Arizona’s robust histories.

I’ve got Dante Bichette and I’m not afraid to use him.

Behold: The D’Rocks.

D'Rock's main logo. (Source: Hunzeker)

A few weeks ago, I wrote about the historical simulation league I had been invited to join (”Team from the Time Zone Baseball Forgot“) over at Seamheads.com. An email this evening from the coordinator said Opening Day is rapidly approaching, though not yet scheduled. The league, founded by Mike Lynch and the other writers at Seamheads.com, is an experiment to see just what team would have the best all-time roster. (New York Yankees, you say? St. Louis Cardinals, perhaps?) He signed up some fantastic writers and tremendous baseball thinkers from around the country to general-manage and then manage teams.

The complete list of participants, like KC Star star Joe Posnanski, is available here.

Many of them fellow “general managers” picked teams close to their roots or close to their hearts. I went with roots and got the fused history of the two teams from my childhood time zone — the Arizona Diamondbacks and the Colorado Rockies.

D'Rock's road uniform logo. (Source: Hunzeker)

So, while my friend “Keebler” Wheeler, of KMOX, was deciding whether he could use the “Big Unit” as a lefthanded reliever, I was try to figure out if Kaz Matsui or Tony Womack would be the D’Rocks spare infielder. (I went with both.) While Dustin Mattison, of Scout.com, attempts to find a place in his Cardinals’ rotation for both Young and Carlton, I’m clearing room for Taylor Buchholz in my bullpen.

D'Rocks hats.

Each of the “general managers” of the teams had the entire history of those teams to choose from. If a player appeared for one season or part of a season (i.e., Astros Johnson), he was eligible. Better yet, only his stats from that sliver of his career counts when the simulated teams play their simulated games.

So, welcome aboard, Jeromy Burnitz.

(I mean, did you see his one season with Colorado?)

I attempted to construct as realistic a 40-man roster as possible. There are 18 pitchers on my 40-man roster. There are four lefties in that group, and a few extra starters just in case one of my Fab Five struggles or falls to injury. (Is that possible?) There is power on my bench, speed in reserve and an infielder or two who can play plenty of positions, just in case. There are pitchers from Arizona and hitters from Colorado and very few of the vice or versa.

And, yes, the 40th spot went to Dale Murphy.

Here is the D’Rocks’ 40-man roster:

THE ARMS

• STARTING PITCHERS: My very own LHP Randy Johnson, the aforementioned RHP Curt Schilling, RHP Brandon Webb, RHP Dan Haren, RHP Miguel Batista.
• RELIEVERS: RHP Jose Valverde, LHP Brian Fuentes, RHP Brandon Lyon, RHP Gregg Olson, LHP Bruce Ruffin, RHP Taylor Buchholz.
• ADDITIONAL PITCHERS: RHP Aaron Cook, LHP Jeff Francis, RHP Manny Corpas, RHP Max Scherzer, RHP B-K Kim, RHP Dave Veres and RHP Chad Qualls.

THE BATS

• CATCHERS: Charles Johnson, Chris Snyder, Chris Ianetta.
• CORNER INFIELDERS: 1B Todd Helton, 3B Vinnie Castilla, 3B Troy Glaus, INF Chad Tracy, 3B Garrett Atkins.
• MIDDLE INFIELDERS: SS Troy Tulowitzki, SS Stephen Drew, 2B Eric Young, INF Jay Bell, INF Kaz Matsui, 2B Tony Womack.
• OUTFIELDERS: Luis Gonzalez, Ellis Burks, Larry Walker, Matt Holliday, Steve Finley, Dante Bichette, Jeromy Burnitz and Dale Murphy.

Doesn’t take much to see the early sketch of a lineup, and even some platoons that could develop in left field (Gonzalez, Holliday) and perhaps at shortstop (Tulo and Drew). An Opening Day lineup against a Mattison’s Bob Gibson might be:

1. Eric Young, 2B
2. Luis Gonzalez, LF
3. Larry Walker, RF
4. Vinnie Castilla, 3B
5. Todd Helton, 1B
6. Ellis Burks, CF
7. Charles Johnson, C
8. Stephen Drew, SS
9. Randy Johnson, P

That team will put up some some runs. Not sure how good it will be at stopping others from doing the same, especially that Lou Brock-Stan Musial-Albert Pujols trio the Cardinals are going to throw out there.

Shoulder patch with the Rockies and Camelback profiles and the -30- brand.

The previous entry about this inspired Kurt Hunzeker, the talented designer who brought you “Progressing Nicely” and “The Limit is the Sky” (see both designs over at the Bird Land@Facebook page), to come up with logos and looks for the D’Rocks. His designs are sprinkled around this entry, many making their debut. As you can see he attempted to combine the Arizona and Colorado logos in the same way that I attempted to combine the rosters.

His hybrid is much better.

Hunzeker also put in some nice personal touches. You’ll notice the “30″ that has become a signature here at the blog. Hunzeker also went heavy with the Colorado infuence because I’m heavy on Colorado influence. In a stroke of genius, he also made skiing’s double-diamond a prominent feature of the logo. Sure that’s a nod to Colorado, but as Hunzeker explained it’s also an emblem of the D’Rocks’ chances against the other Historical Simulated League’s teams.

It’s going to be a bumpy season, for sure. It will feel a lot like a double-diamond trail. There will be that initial rush, perhaps even the illusion of being in control of my speed. It will be thrilling, like the final crank as you reach the peak of a rollercoaster. And then a sharp and likely rapid plummet, maybe some jarring moguls, and an ending with a wipeout so complete, so dramatic — scattered outfielders, bloated ERAs, bruised ego — that there is only one skiing term that fits: Yard sale.

The D’Rocks will go yard sale.

But, hey, there’s always that chance I’ll finish ahead of Wheeler.

D'Rocks home uniform logo.

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