JUPITER, Fla. — The fortunes of Blake Hawksworth as a St. Louis Cardinals minor leaguer can be traced by the injuries as they traveled up his right side or the prospect lists as he dropped down them. Once the organization’s top prospect — not just top pitching prospect — Hawksworth will make the first start of spring training today, against Florida at Roger Dean Stadium.

He feels fortunate just to be around.

If he wasn’t slowed by ankle surgery and then subsequent shoulder surgery or flummoxed by chronic inconsistent performances, Hawksworth was just dripping with doubt. He didn’t win a home game for Triple-A Memphis until his second-to-last start at Memphis, but he won his final two starts there. He makes today’s start — a cameo appearance really on his way back to the Triple-A rotation — with more seasoned expectations than when he was cuffed around in a previous spring start.

“If I can go out there and have a good appearance and really look at the numbers, but look at how I took care of my approach, then I’m going to be happy,” he said. “After the Marlins game last year, I sat in here (in the clubhouse) and I was just beside myself, searching. Can I even pitch at this level? Your brain is going 1,000 miles an hour. That’s just not the way to have any success.”

On the eve of Hawksworth’s start and the Cardinals’ spring opener, I spoke with the righthander — most of which helped compose the article in today’s paper. But there was more there. Here is the complete Q&A:

***

DG: What’s getting this start mean to you? Is there a compliment in it?

Hawksworth: It’s a big deal to get a start. I’m excited to be able to get a start. They’re rare in spring, kind of … just excited.

DG: It looks like everything with you we can tie back to health.

Hawksworth: I think it’s just as much mental health as it is physical. Obviously, I’m coming in feeling well. My knee. My shoulder. I just feel like I’m in a good place with my approach when I’m on the mound. Feel like there’s not as much anxiety, pressure. I’m just trying to enjoy this year and stop putting so much pressure on myself.

DG: You really see that as a problem?

Hawksworth: Yeah, oh yeah. I never really thought that it was my stuff. That’s what has been so hard for me the last couple years. It’s between my ears. Obviously the last few years in Memphis haven’t been great. But I wouldn’t change it for the world. But I’ve learned through that struggle. I finished strong last year, and I just want to build on that, take it into this spring. it’s worked so far.

DG: Pitching coach Dave Duncan would talk about changeup but hammer on you to be more aggressive. This spring we’re hearing about how more aggressive you are with everything. Does that go back to the confidence? The velocity is back up there, you’re not in love with one pitch …

Hawksworth: Right. I’ve talked a lot to Derek Lilliquist and a lot of the guys who have been around and know my stuff, Chris Maloney, Blaise Isley. I had that talk last year coming out of spring training about being aggressive. And I thought it was more … they wanted me to be more bulldog-type pither on the mound.

I don’t show a lot of emotion on the mound. I’ve never been like that. My stuff can set that tone, and people can look at my stuff and how I attack the zone and be like man he’s being aggressive. I’m not out there spitting and cursing.

I entered Memphis last year like that I was going out there so jacked-up and it was like this so not me. I was trying to throw the ball thorugh the backstop and I was getting ripped. I was like this cannot be it. So there definitely has to be a balance of treating it the same way as your throwing it on Field 6 or in front of a crowd at Busch. Your approach stays the same. What I can control. There’s my spot, fight for it, and that’s it. And not, ‘Oh, I’ve already given up a three spot and here we go.’ You let it snowball. I’m trying to simplify things.

DG: Did being mostly healthy this winter all you to alter your workouts, improve them?

Hawksworth: I trained more athletically. I don’t know how to say it. I trained to be more flexible, more functional-type stuff as opposed to just cranking out weights and really putting on bulk — trying to be a big mirror guy. It’s a lot more functional for me on the mound to be flexible and those kind of things.

DG: Were there times you were going out there hurting last year?

Hawksworth: Oh yeah. Yeah. I hurt my knee (ed. note: a sprain) in May, and I nmissed two months because of that. I felt it the entire time from July all the way to September. It was bugging me every time I was out there, but it was just good enough to pitch. And then the last start it kind of imploded again. I was going to play winter ball in Venezuela. After that last game I had to go home and put it in a straight boot and do the whole rehab deal. Last year was a grind. The year before that was my shoulder in Memphis and it’s like enough’s enough.

DG: And years before that it was the spurs and the shoulder …

Hawksworth: My whole right side. Ankle knee shoulder. I’m working my way up.

DG: Anything happen this winter, besides the obvious of getting healthy, to help get rid of the pressure you talked about, help alter your expectations?

Hawksworth: I didn’t have like an epiphany-type thing. I can’t think of one certain moment when I was like, ‘You know what? Forget it.’ Obviously health has a lot to do with it. If you’re hurting physically on the mound it’s tough to be really confident, to execute pitches the way your body knows how to without you interfering and guarding things. You know what I mean? So you just have to go out and let it rip. Be loose and easy like that. The key for me was taking that tension out of my body. Just worry about one thing. Things I can control. So much in the past few year I was pitching for results — numbers. I can’t control that. It took me awhile to realize that.

DG: The reason I ask that question was not about, per se, an epiphany but if there was decision to be made, or rather if you expected a decision to be made about your spot on the 40-man roster …

Hawksworth: If they were to take me off this winter, I would have been a free agent. It did cross my mind as soon as the season was over. If somebody were to just look at my numbers it doesn’t make much sense. I’ve been very blessed to be able to still be here. They’ve stuck it out with me. I’ve been here for a long time. I feel very blessed. At the same time I feel like they’re waiting on me and it’s time to fulfiull my end of the bargain.

-30-