When Kevin Mitchell became a father, he and his wife decided that he would be a stay-at-home parent. He’s signing a book he’s written - “St. Louis Dad” in the weeks before Father’s Day, so Claire Applewhite has interviewed Kevin to find out more about him and his writing. He has two events this week: see the times and dates and the bottom of this Q&A.

By Claire Applewhite

A guy who wrote obituaries to pay for music school sounds intriguing. He is. Meet Kevin Mitchell, St. Louis writer, musician and SAHD, or Stay At Home Dad. Whether he’s performing with his jazz band, the Kevin Mitchell4 or reading from “St. Louis Dad: A Manual for New and Expecting Dads,” Mitchell’s voice is distinct and fresh. His humor reigns and shines, though he is surprisingly humble. What makes Mitchell rock?

Q: It’s a treat to meet a writer/musician. Which came first in your professional development?

A: I’ve never thought about it before, but I guess both started at the same time, when I was a kid. I started piano at about 9 and writing stories at the same time. The first thing I did at the piano was write a song, and I wrote a lot of songs in bands as a teenager through to my late 20s. In high school (Lindbergh class of 81 – go Flyers!), I took nerdness to a new level being both a band geek AND a drama geek. When I graduated from high school, I was torn: to study writing music or study writing theater. I took an equal number of courses at Meramec Community College that first year and in retrospect, I had great music professors and not-so-great theater professors, and I let that influence the next step.

I went to the conservatory of music in Kansas City with the idea of becoming a film composer. I ended up working my way through that music school writing for the campus newspaper, eventually becoming managing editor. Later, I got a job at the Kansas City Star writing obituaries, which was of course, a lot of laughs.

I then spent the rest of my 20s trying to be a rock star, and my 30s trying to be a film and television writer in L.A. … somehowI managed to combine both music and writing in my life.

Q: Do you feel that your writing complements the quality of your music?

A: I’m not sure I’d use the word “complements” and “quality” with what I do, but I’d say both influence each other. A lot of my short stories, a few of which were turned into short plays in L.A., are about musicians. My nonfiction magazine writing (for St. Louis Magazine) is often about music related things — instrument making, concerts, theaters, etc.

Q: The St. Louis Writers Guild recently presented a workshop on poetry in which the use of rhythm and beat, timing and rhyming were discussed. As a writer and musician, what are your thoughts on these concepts?

A: That sounds great — I wish I were there. But yeah, I think all writers can benefit from an understanding of the rhythm of words, whether spoken or read. Especially if you’re writing humor. In my latest book, “St. Louis Dad,” that was actually a challenge. As I got into the later chapters I was aware that the rhythm and beat of sentences were starting to get stale, and I specifically looked at ways to change up those aspects to keep it fresh. Or at least fresher!

In both music and literature, you’re trying to get an idea, or feeling, across. One uses notes, one uses words, but both rely on rhythm to really hit it home. (His best-selling book is “Songwriter’s Rhyming Dictionary.”

Q: Your book “St. Louis Dad: A Manual for New and Expecting Dads” was released by Reedy Press last September. There must be a story behind the decision to write such an instructional manual. What is yours?

A: I’m a writer and my wife, Lauren, is a book editor, so we’re prone to buying books in general. Then you throw this whole baby-type-item-coming-out-of-the-body situation, which is overwhelming, and it tends to make you want to buy books about it. So at night she’d be poring over these hernia-inducing tombs of the “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” variety, and she kept making me read parts of it.

I quickly concluded these weren’t particularly guy-friendly. Then I thought gee, if there was a shorter version for guys – and it was funny – that I would read.

Q: You make keen observations regarding children. How did you get so involved with kids and their activities and causes?

A: When we became pregnant – and when I say “we” I mean “not me” – Lauren and I decided that it was really important that a parent stay at home. But doing the math, it was better that she continue working full time, as I was writing freelance articles and books from home and avoiding anything that stank of a real job.

But the thought was I could be at home with the baby and still get work done which sounds crazy, but I made it work.

That led me into the Stay At Home Dad (SAHD) movement, which I wrote an article about for St. Louis Magazine (it’s on my website, kevinmmitchell.com, and includes interviews with other St. Louis SAHDs). I learned a lot in my research, but I’ll cut to the chase on the main points:

First of all, a lot businesses and government officials like to say they are “family friendly” but they aren’t. The idea of flex hours, working from home occasionally, etc., is off the table. Second, 99.9% of couples never even consider the idea of the father staying at home with the baby. Third, there is absolutely no support for the dad staying at home.

Socially, it was weird in a place like St. Louis. Moms were suspect of a dad at a playground at 10 a.m. on a Tuesday. I was almost always the only man at library story times. At the grocery store, I got, “Oh, you’re babysitting today, huh?” Babysitting?!? It’s my baby. I’ll shut up now.

Q: I noticed that you also wrote a book called The Musician’s Ultimate Joke Book, now in its third printing. What prompted this book? What is “Little Kids Rock?”

A: That book was sheer fun, and I spent 10 years collecting jokes, stories, etc. I rewrote a lot, and did a lot of research. I’m proud of it – there’s no trash in it. I mean, you can google “jokes about trombone players” but after the second one you’re like, “OK, I get it, trombone players are losers, and by the way, this isn’t funny.” Anyway, I had a sense there was a niche and I was right on that. Not that I always am!

“Little Kids Rock” is this really great not-for-profit organization started by an elementary teacher named David Wish who was sick of what was happening to school music programs, how they were continually being hurt by budget cuts, and wanted to take a fresh approach. He works with teachers who volunteer to go into economically disadvantaged urban schools and gets instruments and lessons into kids’ hands. They are in many cities and I’m talking with them about bringing it to St. Louis. Please go to littlekidsrock.org to learn more! They rock.

Q: Are you a native St. Louisan? What do you like about living and working in St. Louis?

A: I am! My mom still lives in the house in South County. I was a very South County kid and never left the suburbs so by the time I left town for the conservatory in Kansas City at 19 I honestly didn’t have a great opinion of the town. I spent 10 years in KC, then years in LA, and in between, somehow, a year in San Francisco and a year in Tulsa where I played in an alt rock band.

But once married, and wanting to start a family, I moved back here and it’s been great. We have two boys now and it’s really a great place for that. It was good to go away and then come back. The town has really come alive in those years, and it’s great for music and theater. So we like it.

As far as working here, one of my big clients is in Boston and the other in Vegas, plus I still get occasional work from Disney, but I get to do it all from home. I need to get out in the town more, actually. So if there’s something going on, let me know and I’ll meet you there, as I always need an excuse to shower and put a comb through my hair.

You’re a regular contributor to a wide variety of magazines, including St. Louis Magazine. Would you like to name a few others? What are your regular columns?

As I like to say, “I write articles no one reads for magazines that no one has heard of.” But currently I’m associate editor for a Boston-based magazine called MMR which covers the business of music instruments. So I get to interview the president of Steinway Pianos, for example, and write about what guitars and drums are doing well, what music stores are doing interesting things, etc. I love it.

Also I write a lot for entertainment-trade related magazines. I cover lighting, staging, sound, and theater. But again, it’s literally backstage. As I always joke, I don’t get to hang out with Billy Joel but his sound guy of 30 years will have a beer with me; Bruce Springsteen won’t return my calls, but his lighting designer will … a high point of that gig will include going to concerts at the Fox and hanging backstage and learning how the show is staged; a low point would be writing 1600 words on a guy who manufacturers cables.

Q: Your website, http://www.kevinmitchell.com, includes fabulous recordings by the Kevin Mitchell4. Who are the other musicians in the group?

A: The band is a gift I really don’t deserve. First of all, again, I played in bands constantly from the time I was 14 until I moved to LA when I was 29. For the decade I was in LA, I never played in a band. I tried, but it’s too hard – you have to pay for a rehearsal space, you literally have to pay bars to play, noise ordinances keep you from playing in a garage, and of course, those pesky earthquakes keeps people from having basements.

So when I moved back here, the first thing I did was form a band. I decided jazz musicians wouldn’t be as crazy as rock musicians but obviously I was wrong on that note. Still, I went through a couple of configurations …. then I ended up with two of my very best friends from high school in the band, Steve Kauffmann and Barb Jochens.

We have a ton of fun and that is what comes across. We take these wonderful jazz, standard, and blues tunes and really put a lot of energy in them. Drummers, are of course, always a problem. I had a good one who moved away, and then I went through four in a year. But Chuck is a great drummer, and in a weird coincidence, also a Lindbergh graduate. Go Flyers!

Where can readers meet you?

I’ll be talking to the St. Louis Writer’s Guild for a lecture titled, “Deadly Serious: The Craft of Being Funny on the Page. That’s at 7 p.m. May 15 at the Barnes & Noble in Clayton. That Saturday, May 17, I’ll be up in St. Charles at Main Street Books signing “St. Louis Dad” from 1 p.m. to 3 p.m.

I’ll also be signing “St. Louis Dad” at the Borders in South County June 7 1 to 3, and at the Borders in Brentwood June 14 1 to 3. Check the web site for the band gigs and come out and swing with us. Otherwise, you can catch me at the Webster Groves Starbucks every Thursday reading the New York Times. I’m the guy in dirty jeans who hasn’t showered for a while.

Claire Applewhite is a St. Louis writer.