O’Fallon son of Catholic priest featured in New York Times
Courtesy of Pat Bond The Rev. Henry Willenborg, a Roman Catholic priest in Quincy, Ill., in 1987 performing the baptism of his son, Nathan. Courtesy of Pat Bond via The New York Times.
The New York Times ran a fascinating story on its front page today about a woman who now lives in O’Fallon, Mo. and who had a son with a Roman Catholic priest when both were living in Quincy, Ill.
That son, Nathan - now 22 - has brain cancer. And the woman, Pat Bond, has decided to come forward, according to Times religion reporter Laurie Goodstein, because she too has cancer.
Despite a confidentiality agreement Bond signed with the Franciscans, she and her son felt they had “little to lose,” and were “eager to tell their stories.”
Their story is a sad one, and, Goodstein says, not particularly uncommon. She writes:
The relationship between Ms. Bond and the priest is hardly unique. While the recent scandals involving the Roman Catholic Church have focused on the sexual abuse of children, experts say that incidences of priests who have violated sexual and emotional boundaries with adult women are far more common.
Clergy members of many faiths have crossed the line with women and had children out of wedlock. But the problem is particularly fraught for the Catholic Church, as Catholics in many countries are increasingly questioning the celibacy requirement for priests. Ms. Bond’s case offers a rare look at how the church goes to great lengths to silence these women, to avoid large settlements and to keep the priests in active ministry. She has 23 years of documents, depositions, correspondence, receipts and photographs relating to her case, which she has kept in meticulous files.
Those files reveal that the church was tightfisted with her as she tried to care for her son, particularly as his cancer treatments grew more costly. But they also show that Father Willenborg suffered virtually no punishment, continuing to serve in a variety of church posts.
Possibly the most explosive part of the story, at least for the priest, the Rev. Henry Willenborg - now the pastor of Our Lady of the Lake in Ashland, Wis. - and his order, is Willenborg’s reaction when Bond told him she was pregnant the first time. Goodstein writes:
Father Willenborg’s Franciscan superiors were aware of his relationship with Ms. Bond well before Nathan was born. A year earlier, Father Willenborg and Ms. Bond had conceived another child. Ms. Bond said that Father Willenborg suggested she have an abortion, which she found unthinkable. He finally informed his Franciscan superiors of their liaison.
UPDATE: The Times reported that Willenborg has been suspended by the Superior, Wis. bishop.
Tim Townsend has been the religion reporter at the Post-Dispatch since June 2004. He previously covered personal finance and consumer news for The Wall Street Journal. He holds master's degrees from the Columbia University Graduate School of Journalism and Yale Divinity School. In 2005 he won the Templeton Religion Reporter of the Year Award, given by the Religion Newswriters Association. 
He may have ‘violated’ the terms of his priesthood, but why should we be so hard on an adult man having consensual relations with an adult woman. It’s only natural. I think we would all much rather see this than some child being involved.
To me,the “most explosive part of the story” is that a second woman told the Times that the priest engaged in sexual misconduct with her too, starting when she was in high school. By almost anyone’s definition, this is child sexual abuse. The priest should be immediately suspended.
David Clohessy, national director of SNAP, the Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests (314 566 9790), SNAPnetwork.org, SNAPclohessy@aol.com
Abusing ministerial boundaries is far too common–in both Catholic and Protestant churches. I am grateful that this article lifts up this story and the many others like it. Whether there is child abuse or abuse of power, the church must repent for its sins and move towards models of accountability.
If the Catholic heirarcy were as dedicated to careing for those who desparately need help this is a case in which they should step forward and provide help for Ms. Bond and Nathan. Nathan is a victim and Ms. Bond has suffered as much as she can tolerate. The facts in this instance are well established and the priest does not challenge whether or not Nathan is his son.
I have a blog, The Apostles Wives’ Clut, that tries to reach women like the one in this story. I have been trying to encourage women to come together and share their stories because I know there is so mmuch we can learn from one another. These women feel alone. They don’t really know about each other as this is happening. I believe that this kind of story would disappear if women would start speaking out as this woman did, but they need to speak out sooner and start helping each other. They need a safe place and safe people who can guide them.
Back in the 70’s at Cardinal Glennon College, they had a couple of cars for seminarians to use when they lacked transportation. It was not uncommon for a seminarian to borrow a car to go out on a date. My brother and I saw many a prospective priest get washed out of the Seminary, because of celibacy, and they would have made a great minister.
This kind of thing is going on all over the country, where penny-pinchers are being left off the hook regarding their children. Within the priesthood, this is all the more unexcusable. Thankfully, the woman has incredible courage to come forth and tell her story. Society needs to get to the root of this problem and start making the courts and individuals accountable and stop them from treating children and women as expendable. The victims are everywhere, and they need our support. The bible condemns those who do not support their own family (read 1Timothy 5:8 “If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”). The condemnation is very harsh, as it should be. Because society crumbles when the children are not supported. I hope that the grown son and the woman written about in this article find healing and support in going public. How they’ve suffered!
Nathan grew up with a very loving father. He was very privledged and provided for. His illness has us so saddened,I don’t believe the media attention will help him. This story was told many years ago on the Phil Donahue show. It is old news and most of us has moved on.
Glad this guy’s finally outed, although his congregation did give him a standing O when he made the announcement. Go figure.
Hopefully the priest and his employer will now do the right thing and provide appropriate support for his dying son.
If you wish to go into Youth Ministry, go into Youth Ministry. Please don’t ask to change a central tenet in an entire religion merely to suit your sensibilities or sexual proclivities. Thank you for your attempt at a solution, but, really, how worldly of you!