Catholic Knick-knacks May Confuse Children
Jesus meets Santa: A mind-bending clash of mythologies.
As I picked up my Post-Dispatch this morning, my skeptic’s heart was gladdened by the inclusion of the Catholic Supply of St. Louis’ eight-page flier packed with a jaw-dropping assortment of religious artifacts, Christmas ornaments, nativity scenes, home decorations and more. The flier represents the tip of the Catholic knick-knack iceberg, the bulk of which can be seen online or at either of the two stores (one at Chippewa and Jamieson, the other at 2953 Highway K in O’Fallon), and includes at least a few products that strain the doctrinal envelope.
My favorite, offered in a variety of iterations, depicts Santa kneeling before the infant Jesus, “a subtle reminder to children,” the website tells us, “that Santa is not the main focus of the season.” Or, as one wag put it, that “the mythology of Jesus who saves us from our sins has not been displaced by the mythology of Santa Claus who saves us from a bad fourth quarter.”
This weird conflation of religious iconography and its modern, secular offspring represents a largely futile attempt to neutralize the overwhelmingly commercial nature of Christmas (ironically and happily exploited by the Catholic Supply), a holiday that arguably holds more importance for retailers than for Christian theology and is symbolized in all its materialistic glory by the gift-giving man in red. So, good luck with that.
Bury the saint and sell your home.
I am similarly fascinated by the cavalcade of patron saints said to hold sway over various aspects of our lives—religion made practical. This mentality is nicely demonstrated by the St. Joseph Home Selling Kit ($6.95) that includes a plastic statue, prayer card and instructions, which, for the non-Catholics among us, directs one to bury the statue upside down in the yard of the house one wants to sell. Who needs to paint?
What about the Welsh?
And then there’s the “God Bless the Irish” auto magnet ($2.95). Really? Now, I have a few drops of Irish blood swimming in my veins, so I wouldn’t invite a curse on my people, but a product at the Catholic Supply Store—Catholic meaning ”universal”—that seeks a blessing from the creator of that universe for a specific nationality strikes me as a violation of basic Christian principles.
God, if he exists, does not care about sports.
I am further befuddled by the sports division, whose merchandise depicts Jesus correcting a young batter’s swing (didn’t he lead the league in saves?), substitutes baseballs for rosary beads and imprints Miracle Worker Golf Balls ($10.95 for a set of three) with the likenesses of St. Anthony, St. Jude and St. Patrick. What is the message here? I fear it is the pernicious, widespread and completely mistaken belief that God actually cares about the outcomes of sporting events.
Wrong in so many ways.
The topper (literally) comes from the mother lode of kitsch, Precious Moments, whose wedding Caketopper and Keepsake ($45) appears to be a five-year-old groom carrying his four-year-old bride across the threshold. They look a little scared, don’t they? Those are mighty big shoes for such a little man. I sincerely hope we are not intended to imagine the consummation of this disastrously premature union.
If children are confused by religion, these products may help explain why.
Oh wow…those are really something. My personal favorites are the “Jesus playing sports with kids” pictures - especially the basketball one, if I recall correctly, which makes it look like Jesus is totally dominating the kids on the court.
Great essay pointing out how silly we Christians can be!
Confuse the children? About what? How? I had a plastic glow-in-the-dark rosary myself at about age 4. And you probably don’t want to read the blood thirsty murder and mayhem in “Sixty Saints for Girls.”
Google the website “A cavalcade of bad nativities” and enjoy!
The baseball rosary is a pretty good find, David. Too bad the crucifix are not crossed bats, nor the joining piece a home plate. That would make that piece of iconography complete. My previous number one was a holy water flask (usable for other purposes) where you unscrewed the head of the saint or angel for access.
Ah, but did you not know? God is an Irish Jesuit who roots for Notre Dame, Trinity, the St. Louis Cardinals (not the bird) and the New Orleans Saints!
P.S. The St. Joseph kit works even better if a concrete BVM is in a bathtub in the yard.
Teresa, I am laughing out loud.
At a First Communicant’s party once, I briefly imagined myself time-warped to ancient Rome, and standing before a horribly tortured victim impaled on the ghastly device called a “crucifix.” This reverie occurred as I chewed a chocolate cake decoration candy modeled after this same visage. I shuddered, wrapped the offending sweet in a napkin, and placed it in the waste can.
You make some good, humorous points. But don’t confuse the Catholic Supply store with the Catholic Church in general. It is a store trying to make money, and I don’t believe in any way reflects church doctrine, or what the average Catholic believes. It just shows how religious minded people can become tainted by the culture at large. There are always people trying to make a buck anyway they can, and Catholics are not exempt from that temptation.
I love this. What better way to get rid of the commercialism of christmas!! I am a messianic believer in Yeshua and there should be someway we get this out to as many as we can reach. Not so they can stop it but buy buy buy like one does at christmas time!
Nessa
Didn’t read the whole article. I believe Santa “Being Hung” is appropriate. The rest can also be considered appropriate as it will make many (except Irish) mad.
Nessa
Children are confused by religion because of articles like this. There is nothing wrong with some fun things, even with religion. People would embrace it more if less “religious people” had sticks up their you know wheres.
Though I will say, golf balls are pushing it. You would take your putter to your picture of St. Patrick would you?