Learning to appreciate the religion in my life
When asked to be a contributor to this blog, my initial response was, “Me? But I’m not that into religion.” I guess that was the point. The desire was for a diverse group of writers and diverse it is. And just to be clear, in case it isn’t by the end of this entry, among the range of scholars and lay people, I’m a lay person.
Religion has never played a big role in my life. Or so I thought. So while searching for inspiration about what to post this week, I realized I’m in Laguna Beach, California. I’ve traveled halfway across the country to attend a childhood friend’s wedding – Jewish wedding. Well, there’s something.
So I’m sitting on a cliff overlooking the Pacific Ocean, watching one of my oldest, dearest friends exchange vows under a billowing blue and green chiffon chuppah, and I am moved. Moved to tears by the look of pride in her mother’s expression, by the emotion in their voices as they read the words they have written for each other, and by the beauty of their ceremony rich in Jewish tradition.
The aspect of religion that I seem to identify most with is tradition. I like tradition. I like to have something in my life that I can count on. I like to know what to expect. I like consistency. I can relate to Scott’s recent post about change. But for me, the role that religion, specifically Judaism, plays in my life continues to evolve. I’m only 33. I still have a lot to learn, especially about myself. And, it seems that religion may be more important to me than I thought.
For example(s), I brought two books with me on this trip (the kids are at home, thought I might have some time to read). 10 Conversations You Need To Have With Your Children by Rabbi Shmuley Boteach and Blessings Of A Skinned Knee by Wendy Mogel. Both books are about parenting with Jewish values. Hmm. Then my husband reminded me that although we were married by ourselves in the Bahamas by the Registrar General, it was really important to me have a Jewish ceremony back home performed by our Rabbi with our loved ones in attendance. See? Tradition. Come to think of it, I drive over 30 minutes three days a week so that my daughter can attend a Jewish preschool. Not to mention the Rosh Chodesh groups I facilitate for Jewish girls.
So maybe I am kind of into religion.
Kim Wallis, 33, currently facilitates Rosh Chodesh groups for Jewish teenage girls in the St. Louis area. A graduate of the University of Miami, she worked in asset management for several years and now teaches Pilates part-time. Originally from Chicago, Kim is starting to feel at home in St. Louis with her husband, toddler daughter and infant son. 
So often religion is maligned as bad, and to be sure there’s plenty of history to support such an accusation, but as you’ve pointed out in part, it can have redeeming qualities. Religion is what we make of it. It’s not only what we put into it, but what we get out of it. Traditions aren’t always bad, and sometimes they’re good teaching devices, not to mention memory devices, helping us to remember who we are and where we came from.
I consider myself a Cajun, born and raised in south Louisiana but my ancestry is probably diluted enough that I’m not “certifiably” Cajun. Cajuns for the most part are Catholics, and for much of my childhood I was a Catholic. It’s been a long time since I left Catholicism, but growing up in south Louisiana, Catholicism and Cajun culture are indelibly linked to the landscape. And as much as I don’t agree with Catholic doctrine and practices, I can enjoy, understand and partly accept some of the traditions, because it helps define my heritage.
Logus - Thanks for “getting” me. I appreciate your comment.
I am the rabbi who married your oldest, dearest friend! And it moves me greatly that the ceremony touched you enough to devote time, thought and action (your writing). People such as you inspire me and give me hope.