In honor of my Grandma this Mother’s Day, I am going to share a family tradition with you. The tradition of naming children after loved ones who have passed. As far as I know, this is a Jewish custom but I’m always careful to only speak for myself and not all Jews collectively. Rabbi Shook points out the many denominations within Judaism and the vast differences among them. That being said, I’m going to stick to what I know.

When a child is born they are given two names. The name they will go by on a daily basis, in my case Kim. (Actually, my parents hate the name Kim. My given name is Kimberly and for some reason my parents thought that would stick for life. I think I officially became Kim in third grade when we had to learn to write our names in cursive.) And the Hebrew name which is used in synagogue or rites of passage such as Bar/Bat Mitzvah or marriage. This name can be similar to their English name or it might be completely different. My middle name is Eve after my great-grandmother Eva, and from that comes my Hebrew name Chava.

There are a couple of ways to name after someone. Of course, you can use their actual given name, naming your son David after your late grandfather David. Or, you use whatever name you like and then use the Hebrew name as the honor. For example, naming your daughter Madison but having her share your late grandmother’s Hebrew name Leah. Or, you can do what my family and some other Jewish families I know do. You can use the initial. This is why there are Avas instead of Alices and Ellies instead of Esters. (Although the trend does seem to be changing with a new crop of Lilys, Sadies, Leos and Miles.)

This custom gives parents a lot of freedom in choosing names that they like and still be able to honor a loved one. Quite different from my dad’s Italian Catholic side which names after the living. That side of my family consists mainly of Peters, Mannys, Jimmys, Susans and Mariannes. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that. It just gets a little confusing.)

I was very close to my grandma who passed away seven years ago at 74. And I always knew I would name my first child after her. It is a blessing to be able to look at my daughter every day and be reminded of her.