High Holidays: A Personal Revelation
Happy New Year
When I was growing up, generally the only time spent in religious services was during the High Holidays. Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. The big ones. The Jewish New Year and the Day of Atonement.
Rather than focusing on the meaning of these holy days, my teenage self focused on shopping the fall fashion trends and debuting my new boots, skirts, dresses, etc. I can remember being excited to have an excuse to wear high heels and the sound of them clicking through the halls of the high school where my synagogue held services. But, what I can’t remember is, feeling connected to the significance of these holidays.
Once we arrived, usually late (I always did my best to stall), it was excuse after excuse to be released from the service. “I need to go to the bathroom”, “I need to stretch my legs”, “My pantyhose are twisted”, “All my friends are out there!”… you get the gist.
But all of those years of listening to portions of blessings, interrupted sermons and whatever prayers were being recited during the time I happened to be in my seat, something must have sunk in.
See, as a mother to preschoolers, I have an out. Perfectly excused absences. The evening services start at the kids’ bedtimes so after our family dinner, I take the kids home in their jammies ready for bed while my husband goes to temple. And, instead of spending the better part of a day in adult services, we attend the childrens’ service which is never more than an hour long and usually includes a sermon delivered by a muppet. Easy, quick, painless.
You can imagine my surprise when I realized that I kind of miss the real deal. The hours of introspection in temple and the reconnection to Judaism. I actually miss hearing the blessings that allow for personal reflection on the past year and the prayers for improvement in the year to come. There is a feeling of renewal and a restoration of Jewish values that comes along with communally asking forgiveness for our wrong doings.
I am shocked. Even as I write this. My husband says next year he’ll take the kiddos home and I can go to services. I’ll let you know how it goes…
Kim Wallis, 33, currently facilitates Rosh Chodesh groups for Jewish teenage girls in the St. Louis area. A graduate of the University of Miami, she worked in asset management for several years and now teaches Pilates part-time. Originally from Chicago, Kim is starting to feel at home in St. Louis with her husband, toddler daughter and infant son. 
I followed my children back to church through preschool, Sunday School, confirmation, weddings, and baptisms. They are a gateway. I think I will stay this time. As for the children’s message, usually simpler, direct, and more useful.
I am shocked. As you write this you should be atoning. My Mom pre-cut our toilet paper squares for 11:30 p.m. potty breaks. Not that I’m judging…
In my early years there was a tug always to come to High Holidays but for what purpose. My Uncle always said he got his best naps at Sevices listening to the sermons. As I got older, I realized that the High holidays were an extension of my Judiaism finally after Joining CRC, it becomes a renewal of a cycle of Jewish life.
Well, well all of those years trying to be a good Jewish mother and to have some semblance of order in a child’s life actually might have paid off.Congrats to my daughter for recognizing a connection with her religion. That is just great. Love Mom