I don’t get to go to the movies much. I have two small children, a husband who hates theaters, and a short attention span. But last night, after an eleven month hiatus from the cinema, I saw Sex and the City. It was worth the nine dollar ticket, the cost of a babysitter, and two and a half hours of sitting still.

So what does Sex in the City have to do with religion? Well, nothing. But seeing this much anticipated movie brought me back to my days as a single girl. It brought back memories (good, bad and ugly) of the dating scene. And by “dating scene” I’m referring to the process of conducting interviews for a potential spouse.

In this blog about religion, we’ve touched on same sex marriage and plural marriage but not interfaith marriage. I am the product of an interfaith marriage. My mom is Jewish and my dad is Catholic. When they married they agreed to raise their children (my sister and me) Jewish. And that was probably the only thing they agreed on. They divorced when I was four. That being said, I have a great relationship with both of my parents and they have always gotten along pretty well with each other.

I have many Jewish friends who were strictly prohibited from dating, let alone marrying a non Jew. Some to the point that their parents threatened to disown them. I know that people in other religions, cultures or races for that matter feel the same way. I was always very curious about this. My parents never seemed too opinionated about it. I grew up in a heavily Jewish community so I dated mostly Jewish guys but did go out with some who were not. Surprisingly, it was my dad who eventually spoke up on the topic.

He urged me to ultimately marry a Jewish guy. Why? He said there are enough conflicts that arise in a marriage. Money, parenting styles, different personalities, etc. – why add one more to the mix? I thought, and still do, that he makes a good point. And I like that I wasn’t being forbidden to date outside my religion. That would’ve been funny – coming from either of my parents. I was merely offered some well meaning advice. In turn, I did not feel the need to rebel and date non Jews (as many of my friends did, much to their parents dismay), and I also didn’t feel that I was limited to dating within my religion.

As a single girl in Chicago (and a few months in New York too), my friends and I used to joke about relationship “deal breakers”. I think this term possibly came from an episode of Seinfeld or Friends. Go ahead, you can laugh. But my twenties were greatly influenced by the pop culture of the nineties. Although I’m not sure that I should have admitted that. Anyway, everyone has their own set of deal breakers. For example, maybe smoking cigarettes is a deal breaker. Or eating meat. Or having bad teeth. Or, being a different religion.

So for me, a difference of faith wouldn’t necessarily have been a deal breaker. Although I did happen to find my nice Jewish boy. So what do you think? How heavily does religion weigh on your relationships?