Treating sex with awe and respect
America Magazine, a national Catholic weekly, recently published “A Sexual Revolution: One woman’s journey from pro-choice atheist to pro-life Catholic” by Jennifer Fulwiler.
Hers is an interesting chronicle. The beginning of her journey will be familiar, I think, to many in our culture. She writes:
Growing up in secular middle-class America, I understood sex as something disconnected from the idea of creating life. During my entire childhood I did not know anyone who had a baby sibling; and to the extent that neighborhood parents ever talked about pregnancy, it was to say they were glad they were “done.”
In high school sex education class, we learned not that sex creates babies, but that unprotected sex creates babies.
Even recently, before our marriage was blessed in the Catholic Church, my husband and I took a course about building good marriages. It was a video series by a nondenominational Christian group, and the segment called “Good Sex” did not mention children once. In all the talk about bonding and back rubs and intimacy and staying in shape, the closest the videos came to connecting sex to the creation of life was a brief note that couples should discuss the topic of contraception.
All my life, the message I had heard loud and clear was that sex was for pleasure and bonding, that its potential for creating life was purely tangential, almost to the point of being forgotten.
This mind-set became the foundation of my views on abortion. Because I saw sex as being by default closed to the possibility of life, I thought of unplanned pregnancies as akin to being struck by lightning while walking down the street-something totally unpredictable and undeserved that happened to people living normal lives.
My pro-choice views (and I imagine those of many others) were motivated by loving concern: I just did not want women to have to suffer, to have to devalue themselves by dealing with unwanted pregnancies. Since it was an inherent part of my worldview that everyone except people with “hang-ups” eventually has sex, and that sex is, under normal circumstances, only about the relationship between the two people involved, I was lured into one of the oldest, biggest, most tempting lies in human history: the enemy is not human.
Babies had become the enemy because of their tendency to pop up and ruin everything; and just as societies are tempted to dehumanize their fellow human beings on the other side of the line in wartime, so had I, and we as a society, dehumanized what we saw as the enemy of sex.
As I was reading up on the Catholic Church’s understanding of sex, marriage and contraception, everything changed. I had always assumed that Catholic teachings against birth control were outdated notions, even a thinly disguised attempt to oppress the faithful. What I found, however, was that these teachings expressed a fundamentally different understanding of sex. And once I discovered this, I never saw the world the same way again….


Sherry Tyree, 66, a graduate of John Burroughs School and Washington University, is a founding member (1984) and Vice President of Women for Faith & Family, a national Catholic women's organization that supports and defends traditional church teachings. Sherry is married to Dr. Donald A. Tyree, professor emeritus, School of Business, St. Louis University.
I am shocked that a Christian church would not speak about sex also in the content of having children for the purpose of raising them to love God as it is taught in scripture.
I do have regrets that I did not know and understanding this myself during my earlier years. What can one say, but thank God for Christ.
This is what always surprises me about “pro-choice”…the “choice” has always been about choosing to have sex or not have sex with the full realization that a baby is always a possible outcome. The choice is not about whether or not one wants to “keep” the baby after it has been conceived. I am in COMPLETE control of my female body when I choose to not have sex at all or wait until the timing(marriage) would be appropriate if the gift of a baby is given to me/spouse by God.