OK, I’m not going to tell you who dies, but the sword play was expertly done.

I will tell you ten things about the movie that will not spoil anything.

#1 Whoever spliced together the trailers for this movie is a masochistic killjoy. The trailer gives away enough secrets to ruin most of the plot points. And for some idiotic reason, they played it right before the Tuesday premiere. Most upsetting. If it appears, hum loudly and plug your ears.

#2 There’s a great St. Louis shout out in the flick. Oscar-winner Jennifer Hudson’s character (she plays Carrie Bradshaw’s personal assistant) is from St. Louis and she mentions it quite often. Did Mayor Slay cut her a check or something. And then in an even more perplexing feat of product endorsement, Hudson’s character gives Carrie a copy of “Meet me in St. Louis,” and Carrie actually watches it. I’ll never get that song out of my head.

#3 The clothes are fabulous. The shoes are fabulous and the handbags are fabulous (except for one that I will not mention).

#4 The one person who seems to have aged the most in the five years since the last episode of the show is the most shocking — it’s Smith. YES, SMITH!!!! That’s Samantha’s hot Hollywood-bound boyfriend. I’m still a little in shock too. He is now the poster boy for stay out of the sun. Bad things happen, even if you’re gorgeous. Sigh.

#5 My favorite fashion sequence: Carrie’s Vogue fashion shoot. Vera Wang. Oscar de la Renta. Vivien Westwood, who will have a surge in business after the movie airs. Her name was tossed around liberally and her stellar fashions highlighted the most dramatic scene of the flick.

#6 Most disappointing element: Big. He spends a lot of time looking forlorn, yet perfectly tan. Don’t know what he did that Smith didn’t.

#7 Oddest fashion statement: Carrie wearing pearls to bed.

#8 Favorite outfits: Carrie’s lounge-length sun dress from the cliff and Miranda’s brown on brown ensemble on the bridge.

#9 It’s 140-minutes long and that isn’t daunting to me, but I did feel the need for few cuts to tighten up the comedy and heighten the drama.

#10 Yes, there is plenty of gratuitous nudity.