Nope, not kidding.

There’s an app (iPhone application) for an astonishing variety of things and I’m pretty sure one of them will signal the apocalypse.

I can’t say that that plastic surgery app surprised me, but it did give me pause.

iSurgeon is set to launch on Nov. 19 for about 99 cents.

It comes from the same plastic surgeon, Dr. Michael Salzhauer, who authored “My Beautiful Mommy,” a children’s book explaining the phases of plastic surgery.

iSurgeon is both a game and a serious planning tool for anyone seeking voluntary surgical modification. It’s described as a “fun entertaining game tool.”

Not only can you modify your image, there are handy tools to allow you to post it to your favorite social networking site. You can let your friends vote on your new nose, breast size, cheek implant, tummy tuck, liposuction, face lift, lip enhancement or ear reshaping.

I’m not sure I’d be brave enough to subject my face to that kind of committee. What if everyone votes for a nose that you’re not fond of. Do you assume that they are more right than you about how you should look?

If you’re feeling devilish, you can give a hint to a friend by playing surgeon with one of their photos and send them suggestions.

Of course, you don’t have to show anyone your Frankenstein portraits. And I’d suggest that you keep your surgery and your made-over images of your friends to yourself.

It could be a little disturbing to receive a “look, I fixed your nose” email.

The game mode of the iSurgeon app involves “operating” on four pre-programmed images. The goal is to sculpt a more perfect image of the subject. Apparently there is a “right” face. You win by getting as close to the subject’s desired results as possible.

You win by creating a perfect face.

That concept is so much more worrisome to me than the fact that this app exists. The notion that there is only one way to be beautiful and if you weren’t born with it, you should break, batter and reconstruct your face to achieve it. I don’t know about you, but beauty can be so much more than skin deep.

And imperfect is not the opposite of beauty; in some ways, it can be the epitome of it.

And way, the game mode is complete with “realistic sound effects,” I have no idea what that means but I wonder if there’s a voice that says “I like you the way you are.”