Poll: Do you tell people your age?
A few years ago I spoke to a journalism class at a local college. The instructor had the students write stories about me afterward. Then she let me read them.
One student’s paper began something like this: “It was a day like any other day. I was sitting in my Journalism 101 class, staring at the chalkboard when I heard the door at the back of the room open. In walked a middle-aged woman.”
Ouch! That middle-aged woman was me. I knew I was middle-aged but I didn’t think anyone else did. It was a clarifying moment that hurt like a nail in the foot. Eventually, however, it provided some relief as I came to understand that I was no longer being mistaken for a 28-year-old, so I didn’t have to work so hard at looking like one. Besides, that’s not what aging gracefully is about.
People I interview for stories often either balk at or refuse to tell me their age. I explain that printing a person’s age gives our readers context. In this instance, age is not just a number, it’s shorthand for who a person is.
When people are 40, they’re markedly different than the way they were at 20 and will be at 60. They look different, their viewpoints are different, their income is different, the people they associate with are different, their frames of reference are different and on and on. And if none of these things are different, if, say, a woman was exactly the same at 58 as she was at 32 . . . well that would be a story all by itself since she’d be a marvel of nature and her environment. And in that case, leaving out her age in the story would leave a gaping hole.
I’m sure there are valid reasons for people not wanting others to know how old they are, with discrimination ranking high on the list. But I haven’t heard any yet. Usually, the people who refuse to give their ages can’t come up with one.
Sometimes people need to be reminded that yes, you can slow down the aging process, but you can’t stop it. Don’t believe me? Just ask a 20-year-old journalism student how old they think you are. For the record, I’ll turn 44 in a few weeks, and I couldn’t care less who knows it.
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Cindy Billhartz Gregorian is a features reporter at the St. Louis Post-Dispatch. She has reported for the Healthy & Fit section since its first issue. She's a distance runner with seven marathons under her belt. 
You’re 44? Huh … I guessed 54.
I’M TEASING!
Anyway, I always said that 44 is the “worst” age of all. Because when you wake up on the morning of your 44th birthday, immediately you’re closer to 65 than you are to 21.
Cindy, I’ll be 48 in a very few days. The only alternative is well…you know. Although I’d like to look a few years younger, I don’t. I’ve had a good time in my life and sometimes those things show. I’ve seen too much sun and had a good time, so it wasn’t wasted. It really is how you feel and I still feel pretty darn good and I’m not going to use my age as I’ve seen others younger than me do to get attention or not get the job done. Hey the 40′2 really aren’t that bad.
Way to go, AnnfromArk. And thanks a lot, Mike Smith, you turkey you.
Thanks Cindy. I meant 40’s. At my advanced age I have a hard time typing.
Kidding. Never could type.
When I was 45 and working a part-time job at Fashion Bug, I overheard a customer refer to me as “the older lady.” It took me a minute to digest that the world sees me as ‘older’ but, like you, my age does not bother me one iota. Every once in a while I’ll briefly mourn the fact that I have more years behind me than I have ahead, yet I revel in the comfort of my age.
I turned 60 on Sept. 11, despite the fact that John Duxbury tells people he and I are the same age.
I am not only proud of the 45 soon to be 46 years that I have been here but I work out 5 days a week and no one would believe that I’m as old as I am. I challenge all the babies to find a 40-something or older person who works out and see if you can hang with one of us. There are people who work out at 5:30 with me that are 60 and 75. Bring it on youngsters.
See, Kevin, that’s what I’m talking about. If you’re in great shape and look younger than you are, you should be proud of your age. Thanks for taking my poll!
I recently turned 51 and I found that while many things have changed, some things have stayed the same. For instance, I’m still single and I still love beer, steak, cigarettes and beautiful women. However, my body does not lend itself to those pursuits the way it once did. I spent my youth doing things my way and having a hell of a good time, too. But now I have nothing to show for those years but a multi-million dollar car rental business and a string of time shares scattered across the world. If anyone can reverse the aging process, please let me know. The thought of daytime talk shows, tapioca pudding and Geritol makes my skin crawl.
I really don’t like what I see when I look in the mirror….I think it’s “knowing there are more years behind you than in front you” thing. But honestly, when I stop to think about it, I am SO grateful for the years I have had and pray for many more, regardless of my outward appearance.
Internally, I don’t feel much older than I did in my 20’s or 30’s, but I know my outlook on many things has definately changed.
There are many who I grew up who haven’t made it this far, and many I’ve met in the years since, who are no longer here and didn’t get to see all of the 53, almost 54, years of life that I’ve been blessed to have…
Here’s to many more healthy years for us all!
Buck: First off, sounds like you have a lot to show for your youth…a multi-million dollar car rental company and all those time shares??? Secondly, my colleague, Gail Appleson, recommends switching from beer to to wine because it has resveratol, which has been shown to slow aging. And finally, tapioca pudding makes my skin crawl too. Those little bubble things in it gross me out.