05.23.2009 10:00 am
Bird’s Eye View: Cultural items come to life
St. Louis Post-Dispatch
The ‘Night at the Museum’ sequel opened Friday. What if local cultural artifacts came to life?
Busch Stadium: Bob Gibson statue pitches no hitter against Cubs. Demands pay increase from ‘75.
Science Center: T. rex insists on making footprints in wet I-40 cement. Nobody argues.
History Museum: “Spirit of St. Louis” replica actually uses new runway at Lambert. Another first.
Art Museum: King Louis IX statue craves White Castle at 2 a.m. Damsels look hot through cognac goggles.
City Museum: Enchanted Caves swallow kids. Belch up skateboards, Nintendo games and Miley Cyrus CDs.
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Welcome to the media circus. I'm Charles Williams, online entertainment editor and operator of this ride. 
Phil the Gorilla statue meets stuffed Phil the Gorilla. They try out for the Rams’ defensive line.
The mummy of Pet-Menekh animates, starts looking for his toes, never realizing they’ve fallen back into the wrappings.
George Washington Carver wax statue at the Black World Wax Museum perfects process for extracting gasoline from peanuts. Big Oil tries to buy him off.
Ulysses S. Grant statue in front of City Hall walks the 12 miles to visit his wife at White Haven. She’s not there, but he enjoys visiting the horses at Grant’s Farm.
Statues from The Meeting of the Waters fountain in front of Union Station start an orgy. No one notices any difference.
The Piasa Bird flies off the bluff above Alton. It heads to Fast Eddies for some burgers.
The Robert Wadlow “Alton Giant” statue walks away from SIU-E Dental School. He heads to Fast Eddies for some burgers.