When I heard that Kevin Smith’s next movie would be called “Zack and Miri Make a Porno,” I expected something truly daring, the next step in the unsettling trend toward unsimulated sex in mainstream movies. And then I heard that a big theater chain in Salt Lake City, the same one that boycotted “Brokeback Mountain,” is refusing to screen the movie because of what it calls “graphic sex.”

But now that I’ve seen “Zack and Miri,” I’m guessing that thrill seekers will be disappointed. It’s not particularly erotic, and the scene that will have everyone talking is scatological, not sexual. True, the former porn star Traci Lords is in the movie–but she doesn’t do a nude scene (which is probably going to cost Smith several million dollars in potential DVD-rental revenue).

If you really want to be shocked by a movie this weekend, here’s my suggestion: Go see “Happy-Go-Lucky,” the infectious Mike Leigh comedy about a schoolteacher who refuses to be cynical. If actress Sally Hawkins were running for president, I’d vote for her. Instead she’s going to get a lot of Oscar votes, for a performance that truly spreads the wealth.