Leave it to the Canadians to figure out how to make the ideal Super Bowl commercial. Macleans has a story here about the essential steps. First, a bit of knowledge. Turns out, the mag tells us, “a groin kick often isn’t enough. You have to integrate the product, too.”

Enlightening, eh? From the story:

A few years ago, FedEx delivered a 10-point solution to a problem that has stumped marketers for decades: how do you make a perfect Super Bowl commercial? Impressively, the shipping company delivered its lesson in about 45 seconds, with a famous 2005 Super Bowl spot starring Burt Reynolds. According to the ad, all that’s needed is a celebrity, an animal, a dancing animal, a cute kid, a kick in the groin, a talking animal, attractive females, a product message (optional), a famous pop song (in this case, Don’t Stop Believin’ by Journey) and a bonus ending.

Of course the real formula is a little more scientific. Tim Calkins, a marketing professor from Northwestern University’s Kellogg School of Management, has spent the last few years trying to nail it down. On Feb. 1, Calkins will gather about 40 marketing students together to rate the commercials (and perhaps watch a bit of football). Their resulting review, published annually since 2005, is based on a strategic set of criteria that’s designed to identify the ads most likely to increase sales and enhance the brand. “We’re less worried about creativity and humour on its own and more worried about which spots are building the business,” says Calkins. “It’s easier to make a funny spot than it is to make a funny spot that sells the product.”

The most successful Super Bowl ads from a business perspective, he says, are the ones that break through with viewers while focusing heavily on branding. For instance, last year’s winner, Proctor & Gamble’s Tide to Go ad (which featured a talking coffee stain), earned the review’s top grade for being both “entertaining” and having “clearly communicated the relevant product benefit.”

It will be fascinating to see which advertisers do it right on this year’s Super Bowl. It’s tough to achieve that perfect balance between entertainment and selling. Particularly on the Super Bowl, when viewers have been trained to expect really fun and epic advertising.