10.21.2009 2:52 pm
Using my windfall to buy a stake in the Rams won’t be easy
St. Louis Post-Dispatch
President Obama is poised to shower senior voters with $13 billion (of money we don’t have) in the form of $250 checks next year. (Next year is an election year but these $250 bribes, er, “stimulus” checks, and the plan for half of his $787 billion (of money we don’t have) “stimulus” bill to also be disbursed next year is just some sort of coincidence, I’m sure.)
Anyway, I thought I’d use my windfall to buy a minority interest in an NFL team. Unfortunately, like that rascally Limbaugh fellow, I’m a white conservative man who believes Obama’s policies are ruining this country, so unbeknownst to me, I too must be one of those racist guys (or, as Obama might say, a “typical white person”) who wouldn’t be tolerated in the veritable bastion of morality that is the NFL.
But I’m begging you as a geezer who will be getting a thumbs-down from a guvmint death panel soon after Obamacare is implemented and thus don’t have long before attaining room temperature, to please ask racist supervisors Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson and Bryan Burwell if they could see it in their non-divisive compassionate hearts to pretty please consider granting me special dispensation and approve my application for ownership. Much obliged.
Al Dorn
O’Fallon, Ill.
Shut up, Dorn. /Major League
Al, when the hyper-inflation hits from the feds printing that worthless trillions, that $250 bribe will be worth around $2.98 if you are lucky. It may buy you a gallon of gas unless the Cap and Tax bill goes though.
Al: Sorry, you’re going to be “left behind.” The Audacity of Hype will confiscate the Lambs much like bailing out various entire industries because he can’t spell b-u-d-g-e-t without his teleprompter. Then, he’ll give the franchise to ACORN so they can run it so adroitly; along with help from some of B.O.’s stench-filled administration (commie czars and pervs such as Ron Bloom, Anita Dunn, John Holdren, Kevin Jennings, Van Jones, Harold Koh, Mark Llloyd, Yosi Sergant, etc., etc. etc.). They’ll have a recognizable name as team chaplain, however, as Burninhell has a manufactured quote that it will be among the following contemptible candidates–Jesse Jerkson, Al “Not So” Sharpton, Screwie Louie Farrakhan and Rev. Wrong.
good one(s)!
OK, Al you don’t have to keep pressing the button. The nurse will be in soon to give you your meds and help you change diapers.
Al, just donate the $250 to a charity for the needy. I bet if you look very hard you can find a charity that only benefits white folks. That should make giving the money to charity easier on your value system. Or perhaps you can buy a share in the new, independent football league Rush is starting.
All of a sudden, I’m for a “death panel”.