Does technology make it harder to be a part of kids’ lives?
When reporting on today’s story about parents using technology to connect with their kids, I was struck by something one of the moms said to me during an interview.
I was talking with Betsy Fentress about the ways texting and cell phones have changed life around her home. Before those technologies became such a part of daily life, Fentress remembers the way other kids would call the house looking to talk to one of her own children. But not any more. Today, kids simply fire off a text message or a quick cell phone call when they want to reach out to a friend. Parents are effectively removed from that communication equation.
“You don’t get to listen to their voices on the telephone. I really miss that,” Fentress said.
If other parents’ experiences are similar, I have to guess they feel a little less connected to the lives of their children. How do you overcome that? Or does it even matter?
Tim has covered a wide range of topics, including tourism, crime, aviation and gambling, since becoming a reporter in 1990. The Oklahoma native joined the Post-Dispatch in 2007 after spending nine years in Orlando. In his spare time, he's often exploring one virtual world or another. He can be reached at tbarker@post-dispatch.com. 
“a little less connected”…. and it grows and grows.
I see many times more negatives about “texting”, than I see positives. If you have to accept texting as the only way your kids will communicate to you, then your kid is one of the selfish, self-centerd, rude, gotta-have-it-now, troubled kids of today.
You’re better off ignoring their texts and waiting to see if they ever miss you enough to come and see you face to face.
[First of all, it's ANONYMOUS, Mr. Annonymous. Second, if you read the post closely, you'll see that she was talking about her kids' friends not calling the house anymore and missing THEIR voices. It's more about the increasing distance between parents and their kids' friends rather than the increasing distance between parents and their kids. They're related problems, certainly, but before you start name-calling you should read the post.]
Also, I’d venture to say that many parents actually communicate with their children MORE in this advent of new technology for communication than they did 25 years ago, when the options were more limited (and more expensive). When everyone only had landlines and the internet wasn’t part of daily life, kids weren’t EXPECTED to constantly call home, to always be available for parental check-ins and contact. Have we ever thought that maybe the parents are changing their expectations at rates even faster than the kids are changing their habits? I think parents tend to imagine that their kids are always answering everyone else’s calls but their own when, more often than not, the kids might just not want to be CONSTANTLY ACCESSIBLE. And let’s be real — aren’t the parents the ones who buy the phones for the kids in the first place, usually with the disclaimer “This is so I can reach you and you can be safer?” If you don’t want your kid to give out the number to friends, then tell him that. If you want your kids friends to still call the house, get him a limited cell phone plan without minutes and without a texting plan. Somehow generations of kids have made plans with friends and agreements with parents without having a method of communication in their purse or pocket at all times…
Yes, text messaging is less personal. Yes, it’s lazier. But just because you CAN pick up the phone and immediately connect to anyone, long-distance or not, for a minimal price doesn’t mean we SHOULD. I’d venture to say that most of the parents who accept texting as an acceptable method of communication are the same parents who use their cell phones just as often to call and leave constant voicemails on their kids’ phones. Texting, calling, emailing, whatever — it’s still an electronic leash. We keep on connecting, networking, expanding the territory of communication without putting up fences and drawing boundaries. Good fences make good neighbors, and the same principle applies to good parent-child relationships: decide what’s invasive and what’s overly demanding, and stick to it.