Investment contests are frequently used as marketing gimmicks, but Hedgeable.com has come up with a new twist: It wants to find the worst portfolio in America. To enter, you submit an actual portfolio of three or more securities that you owned at some point between Oct. 1, 2007, and March 31, 2009. (If you win, they’ll want to see an actual statement, so it’s no fair pretending you owned nothing but GM, AIG and Lehman Brothers.) Hedgeable will calculate that portfolio’s performance for the whole bear-market period, and will award trips that may be worth more than your shrunken brokerage account. Here are the prize descriptions, which all fit the wealth-destruction theme:

1st Place: All expenses paid dream vacation for 2 to Rome, Italy, the last great empire to collapse under a mountain of debt, a devalued currency, and out of control spending.

2nd Place: Trip for 2 to beautiful Iceland, the world’s worst performing stock market.

3rd Place: Trip for 2 to Las Vegas, the foreclosure capital of America.