I travel frequently for work (a one or two-night trip every five weeks or so) and have since my oldest was a baby; what I’ve found works best is doing what you can beforehand to keep their routine as normal as possible. For example, have their favorite foods on hand and call home at a set time each night (the conversations won’t be long, but they will keep you connected).

My husband is good about keeping the routine (i.e., consistent bedtimes), but there area also things that he does to make it special (like make popcorn with the seasoning he likes) so my boys look forward to “Boys Nights” I welcome his own little spin on things…he may not do every single thing the way I’d do it, but things get done and he and the kids are having fun together…that’s really all that matters.

It’s also fun to bring a little souvenir home for each child, but I would suggest not talking that up during your phone conversations….otherwise, the kids will make a bigger deal about getting their present than your return home (I know this from experience). Make it a fun surprise for them after the welcome home hugs and kisses.

I smiled reading that you left three pages of instructions that first time; I did that too when my first was a baby. I can laugh reading them 7 years later… but writing those instructions helped me deal with the occasional separation back then and there’s nothing wrong with that.

The most important thing I’ve found when traveling, even (especially!) when you’re feeling anxious, is to kiss them goodbye with confidence and say, “See you soon…I’ll talk to you tonight…you’ll have fun with Daddy and Auntie…I love you!” That upbeat attitude when you leave (and when you phone home too) will convey that all is well. I do everything I can not to be morose when I call…I don’t even want to plant that seed in their minds.

I’ve been there, so I know that anxiety. Good luck and enjoy your trip knowing that your children are in loving and capable hands!

Thanks, LB. I really needed to read that.

Nice post LB. Also, I’m the same as Aisha with the seperation anxiety. There’s been a few times I’ve had to go out of town just for a couple of days, and I couldn’t believe how depressed I was leaving. Since I’ve been home with the kids for a year and a half now, it’s almost too much of a jolt to my daily routine to be away from them. The testosterone - or what’s left - in me tries to convince myself I’m being silly. But I usually find out once I get out there and get working, everything is fine. Plus makes coming home a little special because everyone missed each other.

Oh, also forgot to mention how great it will make you feel when the kids don’t want to talk to you on the phone! Aisha, you’ll just have to accept the fact that this is YOUR vacation - even though you are working. Also, knowing you can go out to eat with nice clothes on and not worry about getting saucy hands on them is great too!

I completely understand what you’re going through. The first time I went out of town on business, I thought we’d both be crying the entire week, but that didn’t happen. I moved here 2 years ago without any family in the Midwest but have managed to make a few friends in the area. And learning that I had leave my child in the care of someone else overnight…well, it was pretty traumatic. Probably more for me than for her. When I returned from my four nights away, she was fine and has been good about spending the night away from Mommy when again I’d have to go out of town for work.

She’s two now and this summer she went to Texas to visit my parents for 7 nights. They enjoyed the time alone with her, she had a great time with them, I had a week to myself and even though I missed her like crazy, I was surprised at how quickly the week went by. I read the paper, I took in a movie, I watched TV uninterrupted, I cleaned every closet in the house and I actually got in my car without it taking an additional 15 minutes of begging and pleading for my special someone to get her seatbelt on, etc. Even if you have people close by, spouse, parents, sisters, friends, to stay with your child while you’re away, it’s good for the child to be in the company of others. And, you deserve a break too.

My kids are almost 4 and 10 months and we have only left my daughter when my son was born (and she was there most of the time too). My husband, however, travels every week and is home on the weekends.

I can honestly say it’s harder on you than them. Chloe misses her dad but not nearly as much as he misses her. I take pictures and videos of the kids that I send to him and we all talk on the phone a lot.

Since he travels the entire US, I show Chloe on the map where we live and where he is. It helps her relate plus she learns geography!

And who says you’re being ridiculous? If it makes you feel better than it’s totally worth it, IMO.

I look at it as a way for me to rest and recharge my batteries. It makes me a better mom. Look at the positive not negative. Sending post cards helps too. My kids love to get their own mail.