In this week’s column, I write about lavish birthday parties. I wonder if the worsening economic times, coupled with higher gas and food prices, will bring birthday parties back to earth.
Have parents gone overboard? Is the pressure for an over-the-top party too much?
Once you have an elaborate party how do you top it? You have to up the ante each year. It makes me wonder if the focus is no longer on the birthday child but on the accolades the parent receives for putting together such a party.
I’ve seen parents go OVERBOARD with parties. Almost like they have to one-up each other. So, is it really about the kid’s birthday or about looking “good” to the other parents?
My how times have changed. When I was a child, my birthday party consisted of having my friends over and a table was set up in the driveway
since my birthday is in June and the weather was usually okay. We had hot dogs and hamburgers and my mom either baked a cake or cupcakes. Then afterwards we played badminton in the back yard. It was great and we had fun. Simple fun for much simpler times. I think these lavish birthday parties are ridiculous. It is not about the money being spent it is about getting together with your family and friends and making memories. Ah the good ole days!
Take a look at some of the “Sweet 16″ type shows on TV…here you have ultra rich parents lavishing ultra expensive gifts on their spoiled little brats…Even allowing for some scripting of these so-called “reality” shows…what have we allowed ourselves to become.
The guy I really feel sorry for is the poor slob who ends up marrying one of these Mean Teen Queens. How could you ever hope to make a girl happy when her Daddy gives her not one but TWO new BMWs for her 16th birthday and has Usher sing at her party???
God help us.
it really is a sympton of a much bigger problem in our culture–namely the marriage of over-the-top consumerism with show-offy behavior of parents (many of whom never outgrew high school in their adulthood). The ritual itself and all of the trappings it includes just reinforces the myth of materialism and how it is supposed to make us happy.
Quite pathetic actually.
When I was growing up I never had any real birthday parties. Of course when I was school age having a birthday party was a big thing. At that age when i asked my parents for a party I was told I could have either a birthday party or a present. Dont get me wrong we still had the get together for my birthday but it consisted of family members and a couple of close friends and cake and ice cream. To me that was reasonable.
Now that I am a mother I am going to face this situation. For my son’s first birthday I did have a get together with my family and had cake and ice cream. I did want to do more but I could not afford it. Everyone knows a childs first birthday is a BIG thing for the mother not the kid.
for his second birthday I just want to do cake and ice cream- it is simple and inexpensive. When my child gets school age I will give him the option of a party or a present. I think it is a reasonable deal. until he gets to be that age it will be a family affair, the way it is supposed to be.
When I was growing up I never had any real birthday parties. Of course when I was school age having a birthday party was a big thing. At that age when i asked my parents for a party I was told I could have either a birthday party or a present. Dont get me wrong we still had the get together for my birthday but it consisted of family members and a couple of close friends and cake and ice cream. To me that was reasonable.
Now that I am a mother I am going to face this situation. For my son\’s first birthday I did have a get together with my family and had cake and ice cream. I did want to do more but I could not afford it. Everyone knows a childs first birthday is a BIG thing for the mother not the kid.
for his second birthday I just want to do cake and ice cream- it is simple and inexpensive. When my child gets school age I will give him the option of a party or a present. I think it is a reasonable deal. until he gets to be that age it will be a family affair, the way it is supposed to be.
This is all about the parents need to impress other people. Some parents have never matured past their own their childhood and adolescence. In the next ten years are so we should expect a greedy generation of young adults who think they are entitled to whatever they want because mommy and daddy over indulged them. A common happening when people have more money than common sense.
Our children are 8 and 6. They are each allowed to have a “friend” party each year. They can choose 3 friends of choice and pick their place of where they would like to go. The party must be under $100. This year my daughter used her free passes to Six Flags and then we took the kids to Dairy Queen. The whole party cost under $60!! The kids are still talking about it!! Parents are so eager to please their children instead of setting limits..Does any child really have 20 something ” true” friends that they play with? Big parties should be saved for BIG accomplishments such as graduating from highschool or college.
I knew of a mom who had a limo drive door to door to pick up and deliver approx 6-8 kids for a 8 year old’s birthday party. Sorry, but that’s going overboard. Whatever happened to enlisting a friend to pick or having the guests’ parent drop them off?
For my child’s 1st birthday we had more adults attend than children - 36 adults, 5 children. After all it’s more an accomplishment for the parent than the child. They don’t know the meaning behind the cake, gifts, etc. In lieu of gifts we asked for donations to give to a special charity. The last thing my daughter needed was more toys so this was the best option for us.
Starting with the second birthday we’ve scaled down to 4 adults and 1 child on the guest list. This will continue to be a family affair for us and I like it that way.