07.27.2008 11:55 pm
Poaching a friend’s nanny
St. Louis Post-Dispatch
Is it ethical to lure a nanny away from a friend, neighbor or acquaintance?
In this week’s column, I argue that it’s inconsiderate and can ruin a relationship. Is it fair game to offer better pay and/or benefits to a child care provider — even if it leaves someone you know in a lurch?
Aisha covered education and breaking news for nearly ten years before joining the Lifestyle staff where she writes a "Dirty Laundry" parenting column. She is the home and family editor and wastes too much time on Facebook and political blogs. 
Unethical? not really. It’s still a business contract and if the Nanny wants to leave then they were not a good fit for your family situation. Capitalism is still King in America
Inconsiderate? Absolutely! But, if you are willing to forgo that friendship by poaching their employee, you should also willingly accept the consequences of hurt feelings, negative gossip, avoidance by mutual friends as well as the possibility the nanny may move on and leave you without help too.
If you can afford a nanny I don’t think finding your own should be that hard.
Geesh, can’t we find something better to write about? How many people in this community can this affect? This is St Louis not Beverly Hills!
The practice extends beyond nannies to occassional baby-sitters, as well.
Several moms refuse to share sitters for fear of losing them. And, quite a few nannies get “hit on” by prospective employers whenever they are out and about with the children in their charge. I’m glad ours decided to stay.
Nannies or babysitters, this affects anyone who arranges for child care. And of course it’s unseemly to “poach” your friend’s nanny or babysitter, but a nanny ought to be able to earn what the market will bear. If the nanny gets a better offer and mentions it to you, you can always hang on by matching the offer (or at least offering an increase). Ettiquette about not poaching nannies keeps their wages artificially depressed - and a nanny’s gotta make a living too!
What wages do nannies receive in St. Louis?
depends if they are paid cash or if they have taxes withheld, and whether or not they get benefits. I know some people who will buy their nannies a car or take them on all-expense paid vacations. Some get paid vacation and sick time off, while others are straight hourly. It also depends on whether they are expected to do other chores, such as cleaning and/or shopping, cooking or just child care. some times the age of the child or number of children makes a difference, too.