I don’t believe the 79% number unless these women are talking about sex with someone other than their husband. All else being equal, men have a much higher sex drive than women at any age. I laugh when I see these commercials about male enhancement and wonder when someone is going to develop a drug that gets women “in the mood”. That would be the best selling drug of all time. Husbands would be lining up for blocks to buy it.

Maybe if the wives didn’t gain 50 pounds right after they got mariied, their husbands might be more interested…

Truth - are you married? Girlfriend?

Aisha, I’m not sure we can interpret that 27%/73% as being good news. I drive a car that has over 150,000 miles on it that may go out on me any minute…and I refer to it as being “basically ok”…and that it “successfully” get me where I need to go an a day to day basis. Is a successful marriage a happy marriage? These statistics are bleak - save for the women/wives wanting more sex. I shall post yet another of your articles on our refrigerator at home!

I think most women especially after children look at sex as something on their “to do” list. Between the kids, housework etc I know I am just done at the end of the day. And no I haven’t gained 50 lbs. Some husbands would be surprised by how much more they’d “get” if they helped out around the house more. I know mine would!

Sorry, Brian, but I’m in a relationship - and I’m straight. Maybe you should try and find some gay blog sites to find love…

Truth - I’m sure whoever you are with that you are in a wonderful relationship then. You sound like a great catch. Now here’s a guy that knows what’s going on. Any idea why I would ask the original question to you? Odd, the first thing you assume is that I’m hitting on you… but I realize that I wouldn’t qualify for your standards since I’ve personally gained 50+ pounds since I’ve been with my partner. We could have had it all…you and me.

Momof2 - I’d probably have to agree about the to do list. I’ve even tried to sneak it into the to do list between items 7-8 in his/her own handwriting. Each time it’s the last thing on the list. Any chance you’ve told your husband if he put the dishes away it swings the odds into more realistic numbers? Honestly, don’t you think you guys/gals would find some other reason if we picked up the slack?

Brian, I’m sure you’ll find the right person who, you hope, will love you for who you are (all of you).

I personally don’t think men have a higher sex drive than women, I think theirs is just triggered by different things– and those things that trigger men are more accessible than those that trigger women. The stuff of dirty magazines is much more prevalent in our society on a daily basis than the attention and consideration it takes to put a lady in the mood.

These numbers look off, but I have no study of my own so I will let them alone. What I do have is experience and I think that counts for something. When my wife and I were first married we were like rabbits. Great time. When we started a family, the sex slowed — but only a little. After 4 children things were all good, then menopause hit. WOW! I was not expecting that! I sometimes made excuses (seriously) to work late so I wouldn’t have to come home and ‘perform’. Never would have guessed, but I had a tough time keeping up with her needs. After menopause, it got a little slower so we talked about ways to ‘re-kindle’ the fire and it worked. Married 35 years now, love her more than the day I married her and feely acknowledge that without her committment to stay home with our children, I would never have known the professional success we enjoy today. I tell my children…work on it everyday.

I think if our women would actually talk about the problems they currently have with their daughters and discuss with them, that “dating”, not “hooking up”, is the long-term successful manner in which to begin having sex, and making love, life would be so much better for them.

Loose women, invite loose relationships, which in the end fail the goal of a happy life and legacy.

It’s that simple women, get invest in understanding yourself, values, morals, esteem, and character, and you won’t regret the “hookup” you’re in.

“Women” make our men strong or weak, and themselves in the process.

Momoftwo,

Have you ever told your husband how you feel in a way he can understand?I know guys aren’t stupid, but I think many women tiptoe around the subject and a guy misses the message,because it seems they are almost never “too tired”.I told my husband when we first married 18+ years ago that I was not a mind reader, and that I only had so much energy to get me through the day.If that energy ran out before I finally got to bed, he was out of luck.Fortunately for us, my husband took that to heart, and has always been willing to do more than “help out” around the house.If we have been particularly busy(more the norm than not) and need some adult time alone, he tells me to go take my shower(my usual time) and go on to read in bed and unwind while he finishes up with dishes/folding laundry/putting our two youngest kids to bed(our oldest is a teen). Of course, the reading he refers to is a racy romance novel(my guilty pleasure ),so when he gets to bed, I am not all stressed out and too tired.It does usually take a woman longer to get in a romantic mood because we are usually still thinking about whatever still needs to be done,or rushing around to finish until we fall into bed exhausted.He understands this,and makes me feel appreciated,so I appreciate his consideration.There are times he is exhausted and I pick up the slack,too.Our kids are also expected to do chores and help with housework, and our ten year old daughter can even make dinner on occassion.

I was amused when MSN ran a story last year entitled something like “Women make passes at guys who WASH glasses”, because I already believed that resentment over husbands not helping much with housework,shopping, and kids(my husband is an AWESOME dad) did contribute to “romance” problems, and I tease my husband about how sexy it is to see him do housework.Many of my friends are amazed and maybe a bit envious at how much he does at home, in addition to working and yardwork.Needless to say, we are best friends and happily married.A line from a country song that goes “two hearts,one dream” really describes us now, but we have had ups and downs like everyone else.

Isn’t the old “wives tale” of men not helping around the house getting old? For example, I work 10 hours (no play) every day plus drive 2 - that’s 12. Plus I pay all the bills, make all the investments, and fix everything around the house. That’s now about 14 hours out of every 24.

Meanwhile, my wife does some housework, then plays games on the Internet, then reads some books, then does some more housework, then takes a nap, then goes to the pool, then makes dinner, cleans up, then reads some more, then watches some tv, and then goes to bed - most of the time too tired to “play”. Oh yeah, one morning a week is laundry. Does this come anywhere close to 14 hours of work?? I will gladly trade spots any day and stay home to do “all” the housework.

I’m sick and tired of all the men-bashers who keep pumping out all the propaganda. I love my wife, but let’s be honest about the work.

I think Craig is 100% right about MANY marriages.

Before I married, relatively late, I dated a lot of women. I never dated an American women born after 1960 who could cook or was willing to clean. There are a few; I met some, but never dated one. (I dated probably over 50 women before I got married… I’d have a tough time remembering them all.)

I am a Mr. Mom now for 8 years and as such I do ALL the housework. That includes ALL the work that a husband traditionally does around the house, incl. almost all auto maintenance (major mechanical, not just oil changes) and almost all house maintenance (ditto), finances, etc. Additionally, I do ALL the cooking, cleaning (not great at that), shopping, laundry, etc. My wife only rarely, and I mean RARELY does any work around the house at all, and her cooking skills after 8 years of marriage is spaghetti and instant pancakes. That’s it. She can’t even fry a hamburger.

She makes a great income, is smart, sexy, and is almost always nice to me.

You know what? You housewives asking for help around the house when your husband gets home from work are the most pathetic, spoiled, self centered animals on the planet. I do e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g around the house, AND I STILL HAVE THE BETTER DEAL. BECAUSE WORK SUCKS! You should get down on your knees every hour of the waking day and thank your lucky stars you live in the only country on earth that expects so LITTLE from women and gives them so MUCH in return for it.

Here is the worlds happiest fairy tale: A man fell in love with a woman and asked her to marry him. She said, “NO!” So he hung out with the boys, went camping, fishing, hunting, hiking, rode motorcycles, owned the car he wanted, decorated his house as he liked it, had lots of money, dated lots of women, and lived happily ever after. The End.

The English have an expression, which I wish was common in the U.S.:

The difference between a bad housewife and a good one is two hours a day.

Hey guys,

You have some valid points if the wife doesn’t work for pay, but when both partners are working full time, which was our situation before my husband was down-sized,both need to be able to pitch in and get the housework,etc.,done.When I am home more, I cook(and I do quite well from scratch) and bake(great at chocolate chip cookies and key lime cheesecake) and clean and garden and do home remodeling projects(like painting and weatherproofing) and spend lots of time with our kids.We tag-team a lot of chores depending on our schedules, as we also homeschool and are involved in 4-H and other horse activities with our kids.We share finances and shopping and each tends to do what we are better at.Unfortunately,too many working women don’t have husbands who are as willing to share the workload at home,and resentment builds up,to the detriment of the relationship.Right now, I am working more, so he does more at home than usual.We couldn’t get everything done if we didn’t work together.

Wow! I’m one lucky chick after reading some of these comments. Some of you guys sound like jerks. My husband is a gem and I’m very satisfied with our marriage and our family and I think we’re very successful as a couple. Yes, the sex life could use a little upgrade, but we’re working on that. And before any of you can respond, I know my husband would agree with me on all of this because we talk about it. My sympathies to some of you wives out there. And Brian, you sound like a good guy.

I think the biggest problems that both sexes face is a lack of sex
education about their mates. Find out what turns them on and off, and
do the thing that make them happy.