Hey, New York Times: Need directions to Forest Park?
The New York Times dropped into town recently to take the pulse of St. Louis as we say goodbye to our iconic brewery. 
Times scribe Dirk Johnson does a nice job of capturing the pathos of St. Louis — “In a city that does not do much bragging, the mighty brewery has long been a reason to boast” — and getting reaction from out of the way taverns that wouldn’t dream of stocking Stella Artois, thank you very much.
But, on the geography end, the out-of-town writer might need a little help.
In listing the assets St. Louis can still be proud of now that Anheuser-Busch has been swallowed up by Belgian beer giant InBev, Johnson cites “Forest Park, an urban nature preserve near downtown.”
Are we talking about the same park? Forest Park, of course, is about as far as west as you can get from downtown without crossing the city limits.
Or, said another way, roughly the same distance apart as the Metropolitan Museum of Art in Manhattan and Yankee Stadium in the Bronx.
Oh well — at least the Times spelled Stan Musial correctly.
The distance from the PSB to the Kingshighway entrance to Forest Park is 4.4 miles. For most people, that qualifies as “near.” As a relevant contrast, somebody who lives on Braumton Court, in a subdivision off Schoettler Road in Chesterfield, must drive 8.4 miles to get to the nearest Walmart.
I heard Inbev is getting rid of the Clydesdales and replacing them with shetland ponies to save on feed costs. Any truth to that? Can a pony even pull a beer wagon?
I guess they could get Jean Claude Van Damme to pull the wagon around. He’s certainly got the time on his hands.
Near? Well, it all depends don’t it? Would you say Central Park is “near” Battery Park on Manhattan Island? They are about five miles apart, maybe it’s closer to six. My times in NYC, those two are pretty far apart if you need to get from one to the other with any haste.
Ugh, please don’t mention the Muscles from Brussels again. The BUD takeover has me queasy enough as it is.