Lawmaker targets Mardi Gras beads, beer bongs, Jell-O shots

Scott
State Sen. Delbert Scott, R-Lowry City, is out to clean up the Missouri rivers, or, at least, some of the folks who float on the rivers. Apparently, the summer partying is getting to Scott, and so he is seeking not to ban the floaters, but their, um, party things. From the Associated Press:
JEFFERSON CITY, Mo. (AP) — A state lawmaker is trying to dampen the party scene on some of Missouri’s popular floating streams.
Newly proposed legislation would ban beer bongs, Jell-O shots, kegs and beaded Mardi Gras necklaces on Missouri rivers.
The bill by Republican Sen. Delbert Scott, of Lowry City, was among the first filed Monday before the 2009 legislative session.
The Missouri State Water Patrol says lewd behavior has become a major problem on the popular canoeing and rafting streams of the Ozarks. Maj. Tommy Roam estimates that alcohol is involved in well over 75 percent of the complaints the Water Patrol responds to on rivers.
Color me skeptical, but Scott might find out (if he doesn’t already know) that some of his colleagues, well, they’ve enjoyed a float or two in their day …


The only problem with banning kegs and jello shots is, people will just find another way to get intoxicated. Like hard liquor. And how the #$*($ do they distinguish Mardi Gras beads from necklaces in general? Silly stuff.