The provision wouldn't apply to the Missouri River.

UPDATE: The bill  passed the Legislature. On to the governor!

UPDATE 2: One astute representative pointed out that “polypropylene coolers,” which the bill outlawed, don’t exist, but polystyrene coolers do. Perhaps styrofoam coolers are safe?

JEFFERSON CITY — Today, Missouri streams could become safer. Or less fun, depending on how you look at it.

Sen. Delbert Scott, R-Lowry City, has sponsored an amendment in a large crime bill that would ban beer bongs, Mardi Gras beads, kegs and Styrofoam coolers except for bait on rivers other than the Missouri, Mississippi and Osage. Possession or consumption of the banned items would be a misdemeanor.

The bill, now in its final version, has eight hours to pass through both chambers, which is certainly a possibility but is by no means likely.

A beer bong, according to the bill, is “any device that is intended and designed for the rapid consumption or intake of an alcoholic beverage.”

Scott said in recent years Missouri streams have been overrun by partiers to the point that families don’t canoe or float any more.

Ozark Scenic Riverways, part of the National Park Service in Missouri, three years ago implemented similar rules on federal waterways in the state.

Larry Helms of the Boiling Springs Campground in Pulaski County said people who want to partake in these activities are moving to state rivers that don’t have the restrictions.

Scott said the Dallas County sheriff asked him to look into prohibiting rowdy behavior because the problems with the Niangua River overtax law enforcement in the area.

Dallas County Sheriff Mike Rackley testified to a Senate committee earlier this year that his 18-member department could not handle the float traffic.

Laclede County Sheriff Richard Winkle said visitors from elsewhere in the state, specifically urban areas such as St. Louis, are some of the biggest perpetrators.

“They just figure, they’re down in the boondocks, they can do whatever they want,” he said.

Ozark Scenic Riverways spokeswoman Eliza Kunz said since they implemented the rules, they’ve seen a decrease in the number of rowdy people. But more importantly, she said, the atmosphere has shifted away from permissiveness of what she calls “totally outrageous” behavior.

The rules prohibit kegs, Styrofoam containers, beer bongs and Jell-o shots.

The service also makes some recommendations, such as possessing no more than a six pack and no Mardi Gras beads.

And Kunz said it has worked. A year after they implemented the rules, concessionaires reported the seeing number of families go up, she said.

The rules wouldn’t apply to the Lake of the Ozarks, Scott said.

Correction: Jell-o shots have been taken out of the bill.