March 28, 2008 Punch Line Cartoon

If have I.T. stuff the ballots in the last 24 hours, we win!!!

The Cardinals got public help to get the stadium built and we need it again for Ballpark Village

The fact that the Centenne deal fell through absolutely Slays me.

Somebody somewhere, Show me the money!!!

Just $1, Folks, Who’ll open the bid for this lot?

OK, cover it all with concrete - we’ll have a “Taste of St. Louis” tail-gate party contest here for the All-Star game.

The Centene Deal is now offically called the Public Funding Steal!!!

I’m here to announce the ground-breaking for the largest Wal-Mart in the country…

This really is the “Field of Dreams”, if you build it they will come…and I mean if!!!

Anyone downtown know anything about contract law? I think we need help…

Looks like we’ve had a little rain delay.

Instead of BallPark Village, The Cardinals have decided they need a newer stadium

This lot is now to be known as “The Field of Shattered Dreams”

Money is not the problem, it is the lack of it.

OK, so a joint venture between the St. Louis Redbirds and the Cordish name laid an egg in a sinkhole - Any suggestions to save us from looking bad would be appreciated.

Friends, tax payers and would-be villagers…………..

Sorry, but it looks like the Village People will be staying at the YMCA indefinitely.

We’ve decided to make this into a FREE parking lot for the Ballpark. However, beer will now sell for $80 a can.

May I have your attention please. Has anyone seen the ballpark village? it is gone again

We have done the numbers and if we put 2 hot dogs stands and 1 beer stand in place of the village, we will come out with a bigger profit.

We cannot have the village and pitching

We are thinking of renting out canoes so people can drift around while waiting for Albert home runs.

That deal fell faster than the Blues did.

“Ladies and Gentleman welcome to the future of St. Louis”

“Citizens of St. Louis, welcome to the newest example of your tax dollars at work.”

“Has anyone seen the DeWitts. We’ll take a cell phone number… a fax number… a land line… a life saver ….???”

“Calling all corporate welfare kings. When do we get ours?”

“People of St. Louis, ignore the figure standing next to me. He is a figment of your imagination. Just like his Ballpark Village.”

“It takes a Village to raze a community.”

“Cardinal fans, welcome to McGwire Cove where heroes and dreams go to die.”

If you build it, they will come.

And then we may be able to acquire the Spanish Pavilion.

Would anyone be intested in buying a couple of acres of swamp land?

Would anyone be interested in buying a couple of acres of swamp land?

Everyone form a single line so we can pass out your pink slip.

Attention. We now have a place to put all those sandbags.

Can you all hear me now?

Can anyone tell me why this gentleman standing next to me is wearing a hard hat?

AWWWW… Can’t anyone cut me a deal?
40,40,40,do I got 50? Yes I got 50. How about 60? 60,60,I got 60. How about 70?

OOOOPSY/
OK,OK,Pride doe’s goeth before a fall.
Let’s get it done.

OK,OK,We should have gone Union.

For it’s one two three we’re strikes out at the old bid game.

Correction: For it’s one two three strikes we’re out at the old bid game

“A Little Help From My Friends?”

CLEAN FILL DIRT WANTED

No Cardinals, HGH will not cause the type of growth we need for Ballpark Village.

If you like this deal, I have a lot at the old Pruitt- Igoe we can sell you!

Next time read the fine print

We are waiting for an offer from Larry Rice.

Who has the record for stealing base-financing now, uh huh, uh huh.

If you ever have to make a deal with the Cardinals, you have to keep DeWitts about you!

When this all started, I forgot to wear my boots.

Public financed stadiums-who is the punchline now?

I’m sorry, there was miscommunication. When we asked the Cardinals to rehab the area, they thought we meant the residents of the locker room.

Hey Cardinals, is that my money in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

I was visiting the City Jail yesterday and one prisoner turned to me and said,”this is what happens when you shower with the Cardinals.”

Tomorrow is ‘Brick Day”. For each brick brought to the game, the Cardinals will give twenty-five cents off a ticket.

Centenne said the Cardinals wanted a signing bonus and a no cut lease from them.

It’s the economy, stupid!

A bird in hand is worth two in the Busch.

“How about a “designated donation” from the King of Beers?”

For the All-Star game we will be calling in Operation Brightside to plant flowers on this lot.

I hereby claim this area as blighted and take back the stadium for the public, who paid for it, under eminent domain.

And now, we’re excited to introduce our new deal…..Sandlot Baseball!

GRAB A SEAT ,FOLKS, THE MUD WRESTLING IS READY TO BEGIN.

“Going once, going twice….SOLD to the gentleman from Saudi Arabia!”

Do I hear it for a Cardinal built free parking garage on this site?

“Still have concrete and part of a commode, folks!”

I’m here to announce the building of the Spezio Gokart Track and Pub on this very site.

Can you hear me? Can you hear me now?

“Welcome to ‘Ballpark Pillage’!”

Welcome to the site of the new “UNO Center”-a place where the deals go to the dogs.

What this project needs is a name change - Welcome to Barnum & Bailey Village!

I don’t understand…you can pay 34 million to a player over 5 years but can’t afford to develope the land?

The Cardinals have announced a new approach to the development. They intend to construct a multi-story building made of knotty pine whereby spectators can watch the game thru the knotholes like in the old days. They intend to call the project “The Village Peepholes”.

Cardinal sin.

If I had a hammer, I’d hammer in the morning, I’d hammer in the evening, all over this land.

Move along folks…nothing to see here! (You got that right)

Hey LaRussa! You got a pinch hitter?

It takes a while to raise a village…

Don,t worry about it ! The good old St. Louis taxpayers will pay for it.

“Mr. Cordish will now throw out the first pitch for Ballpark Village!”

You think the rivers are high, wait till your next tax bill.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the First Annual DeWitt Polo–er, Water Polo–Match.

Now here this! village for sale.———Again

As your new Ballpark Village Idiot I would first like to thank all the voters in St Louis City and County for their financial support.

Maybe this Immenent Domain thing wasn’t such a good idea after all .

I promise to bury enough HGH in this mudpit that it will stimulate growth in both Ballpark Village and the Cardinals

Forget all your cares and go “Downtown! Things will be great!”

Hillary ruined this with her “Village” book.

Come see the St Louis Dirt Park admisson is free to all taxpayers.

Today I consider myself the unluckiest man on the face of this Earth!

Great News! The Kiel Center Partners have agreed to build an Opera House on the ground.

Hey Centene, Howie Mandel called and asked ” Deal or No Deal”?

The people who won’t put these buildings up will hear all of us soon!

okay–release the fish and erect the “PAY TO FISH” banner!!!

Ok ! we got the taxpayers on the run, lets finnish them off.

We’ve decided that instead of Ballpark Village we are going to host the world’s largest tailgate party, and instead of hotels and restaurants we’ll have tents and hot dog stands.

A boat? Two from each team? what are you talking about Noah?

Lake front property, you really “Slay” me

Welcome to field of dreams!

Who’s on deck?

“And now move the McGee park bench a little closer to the Musial fountain”

Jocketty saw this going down in flames so he bailed out with his golden parachute.

Batter up!

Our backs are not up against the wall. We don’t have a wall.

If we build it, will you really come?

Welcome to Ballpark Pillage!

Please get your boat off the lake ! This is private property !

They paved paradise and put up a parking lot…

You, on the temporary parking lot, stop feeding the geese !

Attention Folks. Fresh bait, rental fishing poles and mosquito repellant now availble in the Cardinal team store. The pond will be restocked weekly with carp.

The fact that it’s called the “unfinished punchline” says it all.

Our blood flows Cardinal red! We will rise from the ashes! We WILL rebuild!

Welcome to Lake Wobegone South folks. Sign up now for the Olympic swim trials to be held here this year. Anyone holding an official Sportsman’s Park Knot Hole Gang membership will be admitted free

Please leave ! This is private property, and the most expensive gated community in St. Louis.

Will the three gentlemen inside the fence on the opposite side of the lake, please go back outside the gate, purchase your swim pass ticket and get in line with the others. Also keep in mind that appropriate swimming attire is required.

Question: How do you get a $20,000,000 property blighted ? Answer: Ask the little lady that owns the scrap yard around the corner.

OK, break it up, there’s nothing to see here.

Move those slot machines right next to the dancing elephants….

We can’t blame this whole on 9/11

“What am I bid?

shut up and play ball !

THIS WILL BE THE SITE OF THE NEW CHOUTEAU POND.

LET’S HAVE THE FIELD CREW ROLL OUT THE TARP

We’re here to announce the new “celebration venue” for DEHOLE.

PAY NO ATTENTION TO THAT HOLE BEHIND THE CURTAIN!!!

THERE WILL BE A FREE CARDINAL SEASON PASS TO THE PERSON WHO CAN COMPLETE THIS SENTENCE WITH A LINE THAT THE PEOPLE IN ST LOUIS WILL BELIEVE. WE ARE VERY FORTUNATE THAT THIS DEAL FEEL THROUGH BECAUSE…

OK everyone,” I “we keep Mr Cordish or “Ney” we let him go.

DON’T LOOK AT THIS AS JUST ANOTHER FAILURE OF YOUR CITY GOVERNMENT BUT A WAY OF EXPLORING ADDTIONAL OPPRTUNITIES.

Welcome to Mudville, folks!

WHO REALLY WANTED A NEW BUILDING ON THIS SPOT THAT WOULD HAVE BLOCKED THE VIEW OF OUR NEW STADIUM.

Surely no one in St. Louis will believe this is just a ploy for the poor financially strapped Coordish or Cardinals for more tax money for the Ballpark Village.

Sorry Fans…Another Rain Delay. The Playing Field is just too Muddy.

SOME PEOPLE WITHOUT VISION SEE THIS SITE AS AN EYESORE. I SEE IT HAS HOW ST.LOUIS LOOKED MILLIONS OF YEARS AGO.

Well ya, but I didn’t say by WHICH all star game?

Looks like a good place to plant daffodils and tulips to me.

I guess Hillary was lying about it taking a village, too.

Welcome to the new site of America’s first Hard Luck Cafe.

Astro-turf on this parking lot will blend very well with our new stadium.

Today, the Cardinals and I are proud to announce the opening of the new Ballpark Landfill site

“Ladies and Gentlemen…..Let the corruption begin.”

Now hear this! We have a deal and we’re renaming it “Cardinals Cavern”.

We got a hole. Anybody wanna play ” Dump Truck ?”

This is not a stalled project. We are advancing on yet more possibilities.

Please! Does anyone know people who like to play ” Dump Truck “?

…..Pave paradise and put up a parking lot…….
(inlcude some musical notes)

We got the makings .. It will be bigger than ” Mud Island ” in Memphis. This man gives his promise.

We’ll be holding a news conference in Kiel Opera House….as soon as we can get it renovated.

The president would would applaud our efforts , and say ” stand on our ground “. We wil , and are doing so now.

Hey ahhh look guys, instead of a 15 minute break, let’s take about a 524,160 minute break….

Hello, Bill McClellan.
We’ve done all we can do.
Now it’s your turn.

Are there any other big companies that will bid on this swamp land?

Are there any other big companies that want to bid on this swampland?

LADY’S & GENTLEMEN,
We can’t throwout the 1st pitch, we seemed to have dropped the ball!

You forget paradise and put up a parking lot!

Looks like Ballpark Village is under control. Let’s get started on the Kiel Opera House.

KEEP HOPE ALIVE

Swing Low Swing High …………..Lets Get it Right This Time

Okay, who agreed to bring the shovel?

Don’t worry Folks We’re in negotiations with Enron to move in!

For all you do to[cough -coughexuse me ] FOR St. Louis- This Dump’s For You !!!!

The New Centene! It leaves a terrible taste in your mouth- not on your tax bill!

We need a pinch-hitter in here right now, or the game is over!!!!

Can’t we get someone to help us build BallPork Village?

Oh! We will get it started again and get it finished, hopefully!

Hopefully we will get this started again and finished!

Don’t worry, your jobs are all secure. We’re going to to move Busch Stadium back to its original site.

Mission Accomplished!

Highly valuable downtown location directly across from stadium perfect for retail, restaurant and premium office space… Huh… Hello… Is this thing on?

Oh Yeah! And your Mother wears combat boots!

McClellan! Stop throwing mud at us!

We can’t get excommunicated for this, can we?

Will anyone give me an opening bid?

Welcome to the first annual St. Louis Mud Bog Championship!

Fans,can you hear me now!

Get this deal done or I’m listing St Louis on ebay

Hello- St. Louis. It takes a” City to raise a Village.”

FREE “Fishing-In-the-Crater” will be the Cardinals first promotion on “Opening-Day!!

I said it would be ready in ‘09; 2109 that is.

Mission Accomplished!

Lets just put in a diving board and call it The Ballpark Swimming Pool.

Yes! Now we can make room for another Walgreens!

Apparently Centene only wants land that the owner does NOT want to sell.

How does everyone feel about relocating the Cahokia Mounds?

I’d like to announce the new location for a bigger and better Bowling Hall of Fame!

Good things take ….hey………hey you….get out of my car. Someone call the police!

No David Cordish and David Koresh are not one and the same!

Come on Cardinal-Nation, we just need more of your money.

Attention Everyone! There have been another change in plans again.

Oh, look, there’s Larry Rice!!! Hey, you wanna buy some land cheap?, you could probably make better use of this than these guys!!!

As God is witness I’ll never make this mistake again!

Oh. I’m sorry, did we say BallPark Village, we meant to say Pillage.

Strike two

Ask not what your city can do for you. But what you can do for your city.

It takes a deal to raise a Village.

What we have here is a failure to succeed.

We’re the Village People, and our first song is called, “Why Am I Clay?”

Take off your shoes, for you are standing on holey ground!

If anybody says, “Village idiot,” we’ve got the police ready to issue tickets!

Lamping, you come back here! No fair running off to New Jersey!

It takes a Village to raise false hopes.

It takes a Village to raise your taxes.

Build it and they will come!

OK, how about a package goods store? Anyone? Anyone?

Forget about “they will come”- we haven’t managed the “if you build it” phase yet!

Bruce D
Bruce_jbd@yahoo.com

“People, listen. He is thinking of our best interests. I swear.”

I hereby declare this hole “Lake Cordish,” and now we can put a gambling boat on it!

If you Bill DeWitt, people will come.

Is this Baseball Heaven? No, it’s St. Louis.

We promise to get that starting contract signed first.

Lets make this Pep Rally the best one ever.

Cordish, you’re doing a heck of a job!

Once more we are asking the voters to go forward with us and approve a new set of tax subsidies to get this village built.

I promise you, we will find a new group of idiots, er.. I mean investors, for our village!

Strike Three! You’re Out!

We have decided to contsruct a top of the line grassy knoll in place of the village. We will be renting out camping spots for $132.00 per night

Welcome everyone! To the BallPark Pillage…er..ahh…I mean…Village.

Move along folks, NOTHING to see here.

LETS GO CARDINALS!

Bring ON The Rams!!!!

The highway 40/64 project is delaying us.

did your forget: the spanish pavillion:the admiral;union market;st louis center or the keil?

You wouldn’t want your players living in a tent city would you?

Start the new Centene De Pere River here???

Fishing on south side, swimming on the North side of, St. louis Lake!!!!

Comming Soon - Check ‘n Go and Popeyes Chicken.

You know that $600 tax refund Bush gave you? If you want a Ballpark Village, you’ll have to give us some of that.

Look at the bright side, now we have a Waterpark!

With your help, we can turn this field from a Ballpark Village into a Waterpark Village!

Folks: “When refering to this area, use the title: “Lucas Park 2 Supper Club”. (Managed by local charties.)

This is St. Louis, people. What did you expect? Results??

Sorry folks, We meant DENTENE, You know like Wrigley!

I misremembered, it’s DENTYNE……….

We have not yet begun to–eer–do anything!

Vote YES.. This time I promise!!!

DON’T LISTEN TO McCLELLAN!!! IT,s a GREAT IDEA!!

DEAL OR NO DEAL!!!

Do you want to take your money and leave now? OR loose it all later?

CALLING ALL TAILGATERS!

Everyone, please return to your homes. There’s nothing to see here. She show is over.

Everyone, please return to your homes. There’s nothing to see here. The Show is over.

Did you really think the city was coming back?

Centene just called today and said “April Fool” - he he he

Will someone check out ” Lost & Found ” please .

The rumor that Scott Rolen put a curse on the maagement is ludicrous and untrue.

Attention! Wal-mart shoppers….

Now St. Louis, what we have here is a failure to communicate.

The next piece of “Ballpark Village” up for bid, is this rock that Albert Pujols stepped on as he walked to a World Series game at the stadium next door! We’ll start the bidding at one million….

ATTENTION YOU FEW FOLKS OUT THERE.LEAVE YOUR NAME AND ADDRESS . YOU WILL BE IN FRONT LINE ON OPENING DAY.KEEP IN TOUCH.

HANK BIRSINGER

Why do we need buildings for as bad as we need parking near the stadium.

Welcome to the groundbreaking of the St. Louis Cardinals parking lot.

SOLD TO THE HASSAN TOY COMPANY!

Welcome to our Ground Breaking or should I say our breaking ground?

DAVE WANTS TO KNOW IF THERE IS A JOHNNY-ON-THE-SPOT CLOSE BY..

Since the County Parks Department has stopped holding Mud Mania, The Cardinals have agreed to hold it at the future Ballpark Village site!

We will have mud wrestling before and after the games!

It was just icing on the cake, anyway.

This BallPark Village was just to get the stadium money, it served it’s purpose, who needs it now?

relax peoples, the big hole won’t look quite as big from the ALLSTAR GAME blimp!!

This is the Cubs fault…..They thought it was a deal with DENtyne, not CENtene……

its alright. the arch is popular, how about the hole!

maybe if we work harder next time we can move the arch to the stadium. that will be extra money baby. “chaching”

Centene Deal R.I.P. - Please see the current edition of “The Sporting News” for more details.

The good news is that the Sinatra family has bought the area and renamed it “Ballpark Frank’s” Village.

um… i dont know know how to tell a joke but if you want to hear one just ask Dave Coulier

“Stan the statue” said to plant some grass and trees so at least the fans will come without mud on their shoes!!

The board thinks a billboard showing a bottle of scotch will advertise this area! During the interim, CEOs from local charities may open “Lucas Park 2″ here!

Fjolks: Larry Rice and St. Pat’s have summitted a plan for this area until the entraprenuers can agree! They call it “Lucas Park 2″!

Trust us; just look at the Kiel opera house.

WE ARE WAITING FOR THE KEIL OPERA HOUSE TO BE COMPLETED!!

I dropped a ball. I need it back, it’s worth about $650 million.

For it’s one, two, three strikes we’re out, at the old ball game!

Mission accomplished

Please welcome the 2006 All-Star Development Team!

Nice work Brown ie.

“All that rain put a damper on the deal.”

No progress, financial mismanagement, lack of leadership, an embarrassment to the city. I call for a STATE TAKE-OVER.

They didn’t ask for a ball park PILLAGE…….
They asked for a ball park VILLAGE !!!

This Friday…Bring on Obama/Wright comments for a great cartoon.

The City of St Louis would like to announce that the Cardinal organization will be using this property ,formerly known as BallPark Village, to build housing for the members of the team including players, coaches, manager and their families. The building will consist of luxury lofts and an upscale restaurant with a huge bar area. This decision was made as a safety measure
in order to cut down on any DUIs and DWIs or worse. After a night of imbibing the only ride that will need to be taken is the ride in the elevator.

The Surge is Working!

The Field is now open to suggestions.
DAMN,DAMN,DAMN,DAMN!

And my staff had to work a full 40 hour week for this! What do you want? Hard work AND compedence?

It takes a Village to raise a Ballpark!

All Sandbagger Volunteers! We need you down here to clean up this mess!

Not Chouteau’s Pond. … It’s Lake DeWitt!

Okay Mr. Duncan, see if you can fix this one too!

Hey Cardinal fans, I think ticket prices are about to go way up!

Hey Blues fans, how is the renovation of Kiel Opera House going? Same here . . .

Hey City of Clayton, we’ll trade you, Centene for … well just about anything.

many people here know that we are stopping the operation of this dig a hole junk but for you idiots out there who dont know, i would reccomend to turn on TV, and turn on channel 4 .

Well, at least we still have Famous Barr, A.G. Edwards, Southwestern Bell, Boatmen’s Bank, McDonald Douglas … Whoa, who do we have left?

The deal is dead, plant’um.