Mi madre me ayuda con mi tarea!
“My mother helped me with my homework!”
This is what got me here. Here with this resolution: homework. Homework is one of the things that made me start thinking about quality time with the children. I began to subconsciously (or unconsciously!) count the time I spent helping the children with their homework and school assignments as quality time. Homework is part of the daily regimen that at various intervals has taken chunks of my time.Noah (the 9-year old) had to write a report about Navajo Indians and together we took a six hour journey through the rich and interesting history of this tribe of American Indians so that he could complete his research and write it down on paper. I now know that “Hogan” is the Navajo word for house but geez, we spent an awful lot of time together on this and it wasn’t fun. By the time we were done, Noah tore off to regain the video game controls from his unsuspecting brother. “Go!”, I thought as I tried to regain control of a precious weekend day.
Last night, Jacob (the 11-year old) presented me with an assignment he could not get through by himself. It was Spanish (and I took French!) Still, we managed to get it done and at the end we just sat there and talked for awhile. He told me his favorite Spanish words were “la cucaracha” and “agua” and then he burst into uncontrollable boyish laughter. When he calmed down, he put his hand on my arm and said, “Thanks Mom!” I do count this as quality time as fast and fleeting as it was; I am not going to let go of the laughter or those words.
What really counts?
Our daily regimen: wake-shower-dress-eat-go-school/work-go-eat-homework-shower-sleep. On a normal day, I am pressed for time but somewhere in there we find time for fun, fun, fun (theirs, ours, mine) and other responsibilities (shopping, appointments, activities and pet care) When it comes to fun, I used to focus on “theirs” and then “mine” was a far away very removed activity. Lately, I have tried to find “ours”, too and it can be tricky because they are not giving up “theirs” and no way am I giving up “mine”! They don’t want to go to art openings with me and I don’t want to go to the City Museum every Saturday. Even though my IPOD has Japanese Anime flicks, I don’t want to play video games (bah-humbug!)
Ultimately my goal is to mold them into cultured/educated/fun guys. I want them to be able to have just as much fun at the Symphony as they would bowling or shooting darts. I want them to be men who value the connections made with family, friends and (ultimately) partners. I want them to know something that I have I learned: time is precious and time spent with those you love and care for is priceless, make the most of every minute.



Last year Rachelle L’Ecuyer and her sons visited a local video game store. It was an eye-opening experience. "There were two men and a woman working there, and they all had the same pasty white skin and the same (body) shape," she says. "You could tell which were the men because they had hair on their face, but they were all the same shape. And I thought, I don’t want my children to look like this." L’Ecuyer has devised a three-step plan to direct her sons’ attention away from video games.
Your Spanish needs some help. The headline should read, “Mi madre me ayuda con mi tarea.” Or you might be able to say “la tarea.”
“Tarea” is “homework” and “ayudar” is the verb “to help.” Sorry, but that headline would have my Spanish tutor screaming.