THE WATERCOOLER

QUESTION: Besides Albert Pujols, which sluggers would you most like to see perform in the year’s Home Run Derby?

BERNIE MIKLASZ
Let’s back up a moment. Actually, I DON’T want to see Albert Pujols in the HR Derby. He’s The Franchise. He has a partially torn elbow ligament. I don’t see how it makes sense whatsoever to put Pujols at risk by having him take multiple sets of maximum-intensity swings, just to give Chris Berman something to scream about on ESPN. Cardinals fans may want to see Pujols in the HR Derby; I’d rather see him play first base for the Cardinals for the remaining games on the schedule. Because if he snaps the elbow ligament, the Cardinals are doomed. Done. Finished. If the public has such an insatiable desire for homers, then give ’em what they want. MLB should turn the Home Run Derby into a showcase for the juicers. Invite Bonds, Sosa, McGwire, Palmeiro, A-Rod, Ramirez, Sheffield and let’s have a freak show.

JOE STRAUSS
Aaron Miles, Cesar Izturis, David Eckstein, Brendan Ryan and Ryan Freel. Perhaps then the longest, most sponsor-driven night in American sport would take less time than the Game itself. This year’s selection process suggests that at least one player, Phillies first baseman Ryan Howard, was named to the NL All-Star team to ensure his participation in the Derby. Sounds like the tail wagging the dog to me.

JEFF GORDON
Start with the hometown kid, Ryan Howard. He would want to put on a big show, right? A pure hitter like Justin Morneau is fun to watch in an event like this, too. Josh Hamilton is a freak show. If he is healthy enough to answer the bell, that would be great fun. Evan Longoria and Adrian Gonzalez are on my fantasy baseball team, so I would rather they skip the event and save themselves for second-half statistical glory.

DERRICK GOOLD
Chiefly, Ryan Howard. It is, after all, the biggest reason he’s coming here as an All-Star — because he can flat crank with light-tower power. Howard was a manager’s pick for the National League team, a favor pick, if you will. There are more deserving bats in the NL (read: Pablo Sandoval) but there aren’t any more fitting bats for an All-Star Game than the slugger back home to hit homers in St. Louis. A duel between him and Pujols would be the Must-See TV that ESPN is certainly salivating over. You could argue that the derby should be exclusively first basemen, but others who should be in the derby, taking aim at “BIG MAC LAND” are: Ryan Braun (one of the best righthanded hitters in the league), Evan Longoria (young star on the rise), Mark Teixeira (see how he does outside of new Yankee Stadium) and … Ichiro Suzuki. Word is he can put on a show during batting practice with his pop. Time to flash that 5 o’clock power under the lights of the 7 o’clock derby.

DAN O’NEILL
Babe Ruth, Lou Gehrig, Henry Aaron, Willie Mays, Harmon Killebrew, Ted Williams, Joe Adcock, Frank Howard, Ralph Kiner, Ernie Banks, Dick Stuart, Dick Allen, Frank Robinson, Mickey Mantle, Willie McCovey, Willie Stargell, Jimmie Foxx, Reggie Jackson, Rocky Colavito, Yogi Berra, Duke Snider, Stan Musial and Johnny Mize.

Because with today’s bats and today’s balls, they would put on one heckuva show. And best of all, none of it would be chemically enhanced.

THE WATERCOOLER

QUESTION: NL Central division rival Chicago arrives today for a three-game series, followed by a three-game set against cross-state rival Kansas City. In addition to those two important series, the Cards are anticipating the return Wednesday of Chris Carpenter and Rick Ankiel, which in turn will force some roster moves. It’s shaping up to be an important week. All that said, what do you think will be the most important development for the Cardinals in this homestand?

JOE STRAUSS
As big a deal as Carp’s start is Wednesday, Ankiel’s return on the same day potentially helps the team every day. The offense has fallen into a torpor ever since Ankiel’s loss was compounded by Ryan Ludwick’s hamstring strain. The Cardinals have very few ways to win now short of a solid start. Returning Ankiel to the lineup offers Pujols greater protection, allows TLR to drop Yadier Molina to a more comfortable spot in the order, and at least gives another reason to believe the Cards can score more than once in an inning. Carpenter makes the team better the day and the day after he pitches. During one of his offensive binges, Ankiel can be a daily force. In eight years of covering this club, I can’t recall a more difficult time for a Cardinals lineup than the last week.

RICK HUMMEL
It’s always about Carpenter. It’s not only what he brings with his physical ability, but the emotional lift he would give to a team that is kind of confused right now.

DERRICK GOOLD
The most important long-term development for the Cardinals during this homestand is … and how many times have we written this in the past three seasons? … the healthy return and presence of Chris Carpenter. Film at 11. The damning short-term development for the Cardinals in this homestand is how deep a crippled offense leaves them in the standings. Wins could be scarce against the Cubs and the Royals are improved. The Cardinals entered this homestand in first place in the NL Central. They could leave it with Rick Ankiel in the lineup, Chris Carpenter in the rotation, and a serious drop in the standings.

JEFF GORDON
At this point, the Cards need to win some games and stabilize. Period. How they do that is not important. Just having Carpenter and Ankiel back will give the boost, but a LOT of players are struggling all at once. By winning a few of these games, the Cards could release some of their building frustration and build toward a turnaround. This team can’t get everybody out of their funk at once, but a couple of victories against quality opponents would start the process.

KEVIN WHEELER (Host of “Sports Open Line” on KMOX)
I don’t know if it will be a positive development or not, but what I’m most curious about seeing this week is how Tony La Russa will dish out the playing time at SS and 3B. Joe Strauss’ story (in Tuesday’s Post-Dispatch) about Khalil Greene moving into a reserve role for the time being makes you wonder how it’s all going to play out. Does Tyler Greene emerge as a legit option as the regular shortstop? What about Brendan Ryan? Do we see him more at short, at third or will he be on the pine? Are Brian Barden (.083 in May) and Joe Thurston (.195 in May) going to lose at-bats or will they continue to play regularly?

How things develop at those two positions could determine a lot here in the near future because the other offensive issues will fix themselves, to a degree, once Rick Ankiel and Ryan Ludwick return to the lineup. If you’re not getting much out of 3B and SS, however, you’re looking at a lineup that won’t have a threat in the bottom third. In that scenario you would need Yadier Molina to swing the bat more like he did in April (.333/.402/.500) than what he’s doing in May (.222/.387/.329) — and that’s not a fair expectation. Yadi’s gotten better as a hitter but if you’re counting on consistent run production from him in the middle third of the order things are going to continue to be tough on offense.

A little something on offense from SS and 3B would certainly go a long way.

THE WATERCOOLER

QUESTION: As the Cardinals enter the final three weeks of spring training, the question still remains: Who’s on second? Who do you see manning second base on Opening Day?

JOE STRAUSS
I’ll defer to my more insightful colleagues. So far Schumaker has received a heavy majority of the time at second base. I haven’t heard anyone declare the transfer a success. But if you believe the experiment a work-in-progress or something less, it’s impossible at this point to say who else would take over the position due to spotty chances for others.

If Schu’ doesn’t hold the position, Brendan Ryan has several advocates within the organization. He also has major-league experience. I could see a Ryan-Thurston or Ryan-Schu mix. But it’s a complete jump ball right now.

DERRICK GOOLD
The wiseacre answer is Brendan Ryan, because the Pittsburgh Pirates are going to start a lefty on Opening Day and Ryan is the righthanded-hitting option at the position. But that’s not what you mean, is it? With Skip Schumaker in a groundball rut — though he turned a double play this afternoon — the club is quietly weighing its other options at second. Joe Thurston has done well with little opportunity this spring, and Ryan has the edge in major-league experience. With no interest manifesting in free agents like Mark Grudzielanek and the trade market tight right now, the Cardinals must find an in-house solution. Unable to choose one of the candidates, they will likely choose all of the candidates. Introducing second baseman by committee. Part platoon, part extended audition, part on-the-job training (see: Schumaker), second seems like a hot-potato position. All that means is the wiseacre answer may just be the wise answer: Brendan Ryan.

RICK HUMMEL
On Opening Day, the Pittsburgh Pirates will be throwing a lefthander in Paul Maholm, so I’ll say Brendan Ryan, a righthanded batter, rather than Skip Schumaker or Joe Thurston. But Ryan will not be the regular.

JEFF GORDON
I’ll vote for Skip Schumaker, despite his horrific week. Tony La Russa is a very stubborn man and he REALLY wants this guy in the leadoff spot. He knows that he can double-switch him out of the position every game and sit him against lefties. So he can ease him into the role and make it a lot easier. Brendan Ryan, batting ninth, is an OK option. And Thurston makes the team for sure — and he will get some at bats.

KEVIN WHEELER (Host of “Sports Open Line” on KMOX)
The Cardinals open the season with four games against Pittsburgh and the Pirates figure to throw three lefties at the Cards, including one on Opening Day. It seems to me that neither Skip Schumaker nor Joe Thurston will be the choice on April 6. Therefore, I’m going with Brendan Ryan as the Opening Day second baseman against lefty Paul Maholm.

That said, I think Thurston is going to emerge as the guy who mans second against right handers. I don’t know how long that’ll last but the vibe I’m getting from Jupiter about Skip at second is not a good one, though Derrick and Joe would certainly have a better read on that than me.

I’d be surprised if the Cards had a “regular” second baseman for at least the first half this season. “Platoon” comes to mind and I’m not talking about Charlie Sheen or Michael J. Fox.

TOM ACKERMAN (Sports anchor on “Total Information A.M.” on KMOX)
I’m going to stick with my selection from an earlier Round Two: Joe Thurston. He looks comfortable at the position and he’s paid his dues. If he can turn a double play and get on base, sign him up.