Obviously, this is a parental decision. Let kids be kids and don’t unnecessarily frighten them. There will be cases where a parent will need to explain a serious illness to their kids. There will be times when a child will ask a parent about a disease. That’s fine. What I would see is unnecessarily is for a flood of people to sit their kids down and talk about diseases like cancer. That is nothing but scaring a child with no real benefit to the discussion. Instead teach your children about good behaviors that also would have the benefit of reducing some of their future risks. Talk to them about smoking, drug use, premarital sex. Get them involved with exercise. Serve healthy foods at home. Be a good example and try to teach the lessons you learned from your mistakes.

Young children are more resilient than we give them credit for. For a diagnosed case, the child has a right to know, but it is OK to paint it in the most optimistic light, particularly for an early detection.

When your parent has cancer, there is no right age except when it happens.
It’s important that kids know what is going on, so they can help carry the burden, understand why Mommy is sick so much, and what they can do to help.

When my mom was so diagnosed, we all were sat down to deal with it as a family, even the youngest. He was twelve. There were no punches pulled–just that this was what it was, and even though the prognosis wasn’t immediately dire, it led only to one result in the end, which it did about ten years later. The worst thing you can do with a kid is give them false hope. Miracles happen, but you can’t count on them, or modern medicine either.

Straight arrow and compassionate is the best method– you all will need it.

Just because you and your mother had breast cancer is no reason your daughter may get it.There is no reason to scare children.They worry enough own their own.

At two, my child isn’t old enough!

I was seven, give or take a year when I was told about cancer. My grandfather had lung/brain cancer as had my grandmother who died when I was two. It was due to their smoking. I don’t remember how or what my parents said, but I know I was told about their illness.

That said, I reacted far worse to one of my aunts dying around that time moreso than to the death of my grandfather who died then as well. Of course I was closer to my aunt and her death was unexpected whereas my grandfather was far away and someone I rarely saw.

I don’t remember being overly fraught or puzzled by cancer. I think every child can react differently and every parent worth their love should know their children well enough to know who and when to discuss particular topics to. On a tangent, my mother, a nurse taught me the basics of the birds and the bees (we got age appropriate books from the library and read them) when I was seven because I’d asked.

Why would you want to scare a 14 year old child with something that is only a chance? Let the child get out of school and grow up without thinking of what might be someday. When she is established and grown, the mother should feel free to make her aware of what she needs to do to take precautions. She will understand then without fear. Hopefully she will use a rational approach to early detection. There is no reason to scare a kid in puberty.

All kids, whatever age, deserve straightforward information whenever cancer affects their world. When cancer hits a kid’s family, the child will sense something is wrong–there is no way to hide it! So if parents don’t speak openly, the child may fear the situation is perhaps more serious than it really is. Kids need to be included in the information, treatment and education process in general. Giving everyone a “role” in the fight helps all family members, especially kids, deal with the emotional, physical and (often) financial challenges in the cancer experience. I often recommend that each kid be given an additional household responsibilities during the treatment period–something that will lighten the load on the cancer patient. It’s great therapy for the kid, and it satisfies his hunger to do something constructive.