Could you excuse a Sanford-esque lapse by your spouse?
Jenny Sanford
South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford’s admitted affair with an Argentine woman has been our only respite from news of Michael Jackson’s death. The latest word in the case is from Sanford’s wife, Jenny, who said in stories yesterday that she’d be willing to forgive him.
“Forgiveness opens the door for Mark to begin to work privately, humbly and respectfully toward reconciliation with me,” she said. “However, to achieve true reconciliation will take time, involve repentance, and will not be easy.”
She called her husband’s behavior “inexcusable” (gee, ya think?) — but is apparently willing, on some level, to excuse it. ”Mark has stated that his intent and determination is to save our marriage, and to make amends to the people of South Carolina. I hope he can make good on those intentions,” Jenny Sanford said.
According to one version of the story, the governor had even asked his wife for permission to travel to Argentina to see his mistress. When denied, he went against her wishes anyway. If you were in a similar situation, under what circumstances could you forgive your spouse? Could you? Would you? How? And what do you think of Jenny Sanford’s statements?
Kurt has been an editor at the Post-Dispatch since August 2002, working on both STLtoday and the newspaper. He's been a journalist since 1982, covering municipal government, courts, education and two hurricanes as a reporter before becoming an editor. 
None. The ink would already be dry on the divorce filing.
When children are involved it’s not about you or your spouse, it’s about what is best for them, nothing else. The question “Are we, as a family, better off together or apart?” should be asked and answered truthfully.
Now, if you had 2 mature parents (although the very fact they are facing this predicament is because one wasn’t), they would get back together and continue to raise their children without conflict. Immature ones would do what made THEM feel good, children be damned.
When did we become a society that gave in so easily to knee jerk, feel good anecdotes? Whether it be from food, drugs, alcohol or sex, it is the cause of many of our problems and will be our downfall.
I think Mrs. Sanford is great and I wish she were my wife!!!!!!!!! I can’t disappear for even an hour without my wife sending out the search dogs, the fbi, cia and national security to look for me. I have never cheated on my wife in our 11 yr marriage, but she always feels that today might be the day I decide to, so she is always watching. So Mrs. Sanford please talk to my wife, so I can have a mistress too, and all is forgiven in the end.
No! Just ask my ex husband.
Many people disagree with Jenny Sanford’s willingness to take her husband back.. However there are many reasons why a betrayed wife might decide to give her husband a second chance, including the reasons listed here http://bit.ly/18PCI1 Many factors are taken into consideration before such a decision is made. Even then, a forgiving wife still has to face much criticism, in addition to the 2 major fears mentioned here http://bit.ly/EdyTe
Jenny Sanford has shown great dignity and strength in dealing with her husband’s affair and his embarrassing statements to the press. Other women with cheating husbands can learn a lot from Jenny regarding the steps a betrayed wife can take to save her marriage, without losing her dignity and self-respect http://bit.ly/giv70 Jenny has made it clear that Sanford will have to work hard to rebuild their marriage and regain her trust. She has taken a firm stand in doing what she deems best for herself and her sons, and we should respect the choice she has made.
Mrs Sanford is a politicians spouse, as such she may have other interests than her spouse’s “faithfulness”.
The Governor, if his marriage is a valuable as he says it is, should resign and go focus on his marriage, or get a divorce and run for office in Argentina.
Marriage and family relationships are so extremely personal and should stay that way minus any criminal acts. This public exposure must be so devastating and cumulating situation for them both. It is just so sad for a family and children to have to go through.
What is the business of the people is his unfitness for public office and the Governor’s office as proved by his actions of abandoning the office of the Governor for that time period.
But, as far the marriage goes, if his wife can live with his actions and with him, so can I live with her decision. Neither I nor any of us must live with this man or his bad behavior personally. It is none of our business. In all honesty I can’t say what I would do because one never knows these things until they are in such a position. Based on my knowledge of me, even if I decided to stay and work on the marriage, I would not be able to forget and that alone would ruin any hope of making things work out. I guess there would have to be some other insinuating circumstances there to cause me to stay in such a marriage in name only. I just don’t think such marriages in name only are good for one’s psyche, nor good for the soul under any circumstances.
Forgivness is a good thing if you have the strength to see it through. Some do, some don’t. Only the future will tell if Jenny Sanford is making the right decision. Marrying a politician is a challenging life decision. Moral and ethical corruption are the norm. Good luch to her.
Mrs Sanford is a politicians spouse, as such she may have other interests than her spouse’s “faithfulness”.
The Governor, if his marriage is a valuable as he says it is, should resign and go focus on his marriage, or get a divorce and run for office in Argentina.
— RHarnack
12:50 pm July 3rd, 2009
Bwahahahahah!!!! I guess that goes for all politicians, right? Or does it just apply to the ones which you disagree?
Ruth posted some good links there.
I always said that I’d leave in a heartbeat if that happened to me…
but, it’s not quite that simple once it actually happens. Facing starting over, and having a home and a child together complicates matters; you question everything.
So, I believed that he wanted to work things out, and I didn’t leave… but he continued to disrespect and disregard our entire family in his selfish decisions. So, I felt pretty confident that I was doing the right thing when I finally left. It wasn’t easy, but, I definitely do NOT regret it.
And, it’s worked out in the end. I married a good man this time around, and he puts our family first, above any impulses and when he tells me we’ll work through something together, we actually *do*.