Money is not a measure of success in my opinion. Your relationships in life are the true measure of success. I wouldn’t say my brother and I had sibling rivalry after becoming adults. We were each a little envious of the other at some point in our adult lives. He was very successful in his career, making a lot of money. But he never married or had children and traveled so much it was difficult to maintain any relationship with family, friends and romantically. I never made a huge salary or traveled a lot. I married and had three children early in life. Family always came first for me. Now, my brother has been out of work for over a year, because companies are laying of the people that make his salary. He does not have anyone besides me and one close friend to rely on. He has stated many times over the last year how he envies me for the amazing relationships I have in my life. My biggest wish for him is that he find someone soon (due to age) to settle down with and experience the joy of loving relationships and how they far surpass the fancy cars, travel, and professional status.

Everyone has to be comfortable in their own environment as well as their own skin. My sister and I have very different financial backgrounds. She just bought her first new car at 53 years old. I was happy for her. She refused to buy one until she was able to put at least half down. Sometimes making less money makes you enjoy your purchase more. Most people that make more only spend more and care less for what they have bought.

I have told all three of my kids that they need to figure out what they want out of life and try to make enough money to get what they want. One has followed in her parents steps and is a teacher. Can’t make ends meet. Cries all the time about it. I say the hell with saying that it’s OK, that’s what I want to do with my life. Your jobs is going to end up a daily chore that you have to do. Making money can buy you a lot of fun on the weekends.

The naturally agressive and competitive human spirit makes some degree of comparison and one-uupmanship between siblings unavoidable. As well, we tend to look with a colored, glass-is-greener filter at each others’ situations. My sister thinks I have it made because I have a corporate salary that may be higher than she commanded as a teacher. I say no way: she retired at age 56 with a pension only large-company CEOs, federal government workers, and other teachers will ever see today. I don’t resent it — more power to her, and I want to see her personally and teachers in general do well. It’s just perspective - and we only see things clearly - more or less - from ours. And I am as selfishly myopic as anyone else.

Money as a measure of success is even more subjective. Like 1st Tom points out, it is easy to say, “It’s the personal satisfaction/gratification, blah, blah, and not the money…” — but in one way or another, I’d say 95% of us chase the bucks. I know maybe two couples who truly don’t seem to care whether they have money or not. I envy them their relative freedom, in a way, but I know I am not them. I want job satisfaction AND financial freedom/success, and I’ve been willing to trade off a lot of the former for the latter, over the years.

I don’t think that money is the criteria for success but it does create a lot of stress, if you don’t have enough. I have been the one who has been fortunate to have enough money to live a nice lifestyle. I wish my sibling had more of it and sometimes feel bad that I have more. I still believe that my brother has had a happy, fulfilling life with a happy marriage.
I think that for some people sibling rivalry never ends but for myself it has ended.

It is not as evident as adults due to maturity, unless you’re the Smothers Brothers(Mom Liked You Best). Of course that is dependent on the maturity of the siblings. Growing up, my sister always felt that my parents favored me. I didn’t see it, I thought things were fair. When she hit her teenage years, she rebelled hard core to the point where my parents had to take her to family court to get her to behave. During that period I can see how she felt that way, but that was of her own doing.

I went away to college and she didn’t. She had suspect boyfriends and a job where she was on here feet all day as a hair stylist. When I’d come home from school and if she was living at home during these times, then routines would somewhat change because I was there. But of course they had to. So that further solidified her beliefs, but it was a circumstantial thing that was logical for when I was visiting home. Once I was gone, things went back to her normal routine.

Now that we’re older, more mature, there are things she has that I am envioius of, and there are things I have of which she is envious. But we always find common ground and that’s where we work from.

I am 67 years old and my hate for my brother and his for me is still in effect. If he dies, I’ll not attend his funeral at all.

I don’t care much about money, just as long as I have some.
Oh yes, I also hope my siblings have some too !
-lemonade

Sibling rivalry is about salaries and money??

What planet are those folks on? Your sibs are the best friends you’ll ever have–at least you know their history, their pluses and minuses. And, unless you had some real loser parents, when push comes to shove, when no one else can/will take care of you, your sibs are next of kin by law. They don’t have to by law, of course, but geez, how far has our civilization fallen?

Sibs are all different; they are all the same, and like Frost said: “Home is, when you go there, they have to take you in.”

The five of us are like five fingers on a hand: all different, all unique, and if one were missing, we’d really miss it.

Incidentally, the brother I fought most with as a kid is now the one I’m closest to. Go figure.

Money is NOT a measure of success in life. (some of the most unhappy people I know have plenty of money) Being comfortable with what you have and living within your means will help propel your happiness. The other part is being happy and satisfied with who and what you are. My sisters (all in their 50’s) still have sibling rivalry, but it is trivial and not about money. Only those obsessed with money (and worship it) will compete with their incomes. I just shake my head at them.

I guess my mother did pretty good and was fair with both my sister and I because I really can’t remember any rivalry at all. Fights, yes. At one point I would want to listen to the stereo and she would want to watch cartoons. We both knew she loved us just the same. And I was also expected to watch her back and that’s natural, I was oldest and I did. To this day she will attest to this.

I think a lot of sibling rivalry starts with the parents. They want their children to succeed, so they pit them against one another thinking that will do it, when actuslly I think it does damage. They mean well, but it causes problems. Success is only what you want it to be. Some measure success in money while others just want family and friends and thats really okay.

It would have ended if my brother hadn’t been a big jerk about it and gone on to get a master’s degree.