It sounds authoritative enough: A recent study in Germany claims no link exists between video games and nightmares.

But come on, who (or, for you purists, whom) are we kidding?

The research comes out of the Central Institute of Mental Health in Mannheim, where academics and other astute professionals monitored the media intake of 250 students ages 9 to 13. The kids were asked to record every hour they spent watching TV or reading or playing games for a week and note whether they had dreams and could remember them during that time.

Not a one had bad dreams related to games or TV, according to the researchers. Even the kids who played violent games regularly seemed to suffer no ill-effects. This struck the researchers as odd, however, considering that similar research a decade ago pegged most kids’ nightmares to slasher movies and scary television programs.

The research results first appeared in a journal titled, appropriately enough, Dreaming.

Thing is, maybe the researchers didn’t ask the correct audience. Older gamers — particularly those whose job it is to review games, no matter their quality — have been known to sit bolt upright in bed, drenched in sweat, after dreaming they were chased by those damn useless red blocks in “Tetris.” They dreaded turning out the lights for fear of losing yet another night game in “MLB 2K8. And they felt a creepy-crawly sensation after an hour spent with Tamagotchi, as if TamagoChus were crawling all over their skin.

Maybe the researchers happened to choose some tough kids. Or maybe Game Guy’s letting this job go to his head.