Up to now, Game Guy never thought Secret Service work seemed like a party. Agents dress like narcs most of the time, don facial expressions that suggests chronic constipation, stand in stifling heat or bitter cold trying to pick out nutcases in crowds, and prepare to jump in front of a bullet for some guy you may not even know or like.

But over at Activision, they think that’s a recipe for fun.

So next month, the first-person shooter “Secret Service,” where players pretend they’re guarding the President of the United States, debuts for Xbox 360, PlayStation 2 and PC platforms.

Gamers take on an extremely tough assignment. They start out in the role of an elite agent on Inauguration Day in Washington, D.C., just as terrorists launch an assault against the nation’s Capitol. Soon, chaos abounds, and agents are taking up postions everywhere between the Lincoln Memorial and Air Force One, trying to protect the nation’s leaders and pluck baddies from the shadows.

Topping it off, there has been a security breach from within, so some of the “good” guys are actually bad guys and may warrant extermination.

So there’s not much time or inclination for anyone to stand around looking constipated.

“Secret Service” costs $39.99 for Xbox 360, $29.99 for PS2 and $19.99 for PC. And no, this game does not have the U.S. Secret Service good housekeeping seal of approval, according to Activision. The company released a similar game for PC under the same title in 2001