American History 2058
Today’s exercise, class, is to imagine how historians 50 years hence will summarize George W. Bush’s presidency.
This is a high school survey class — we’re assuming there will still be such a thing as high school in 50 years — so you don’t get very much space. In fact, you get only 150 words, because by 2058 America will have had 6 to 13 more presidents, including, who knows, President Bristol Palin Johnston.
So how will George W. Bush’s entry read on the history chip that will be inserted under every 16-year-old’s skin?
George Walker Bush (2001-2009), the 43rd president and son of the 41st, kept America safe from terrorists after the collapse of the World Trade Center, though he personally presided over collapse in faith in government. Under G.W. Bush, America spent nearly a trillion dollars fighting a war that didn’t need to be fought, badly handicapping its armed forces. American regulatory agencies were turned over to the industries they were supposed to regulate, subsequently leading to rampant environmental destruction, profiteering on a massive scale, skyrocketing health care costs and a marked decrease in individual wealth after the collapse of financial markets. Individual privacy was curtailed and torture became a state-sanctioned policy. G.W. Bush was an affable man who enjoyed mountain biking on his ranch in what was then central Texas but since the melting of the polar ice caps has become part of the South Coast Oil Recovery Zone.
Or maybe you’ve got a different take.
Kevin Horrigan is deputy editor of the editorial page. He writes editorials on local, state and national politics and public policy and also contributes a signed column to the Sunday Commentary Page. "The Old Sport" is a former sports columnist for the Post-Dispatch and for 10 years hosted radio talk shows on KMOX and KTRS in St. Louis. He lives in South St. Louis with his wife, Kate, and a dream of one day starting a professional catfish noodling tour. 
At the turn of the century, the typical American voter set the stage for a presidential farce by keeping themselves uninformed of even the most major issues and that ignorance allowed them to be manipulated and duped into believing that George W. Bush was the right man to lead this nation. A weak minded, ethically questioned, politically hollow individual known only by his father’s name and propped up by his father’s wealth, he stumbled through a very lackluster tenue as Texas governor and was puppeted by political bosses bent on exploiting the American free-enterprise system, thus carving it out for their own personal gain.
This 40 year political dynasty was highlighted by President Bristol Palin Johnson’s constitutional revisions to the Manifesto known as the “Corporafasicists States of America”.
Well, that’s how it would read if Eric Mink was writing the book. Except, of course, he’d leave out the “affable” part.
Nick…I think in this context, “affable” means Howdy Doodyish.
Garrison… Wow. Nice post. Personally, I think the best assessment would be if the chip just read “some things are left better unsaid.” If kids 50 years from now want to know about the failed Bush presidency, they can do their own research. It would be good training for them — an education on how to seek their own answers, rather than listening to the propaganda coming from the leaders of their own future days. It’s something that today’s voters — or those who don’t vote — could use an education on. But I guess they’d rather spend their time watching “American Idol.” Uh, I mean, “America Idle.”
Guess that should be `and’ those who don’t vote…
Sad to see that in the face of plummeting readership, stock prices, and credibility, the Post’s editors have resorted to sniffing glue.
I remember when Mr Horrigan’s columns were on occassion clever. What happened?
In the immortal words of Lloyd Bridges as Steve McCroskey in “Airplane”: “Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.”
Personally, I’ve given up sniffing glue. Being in my second childhood now, I once again prefer eating the white Elmer’s glue. That taste and texture takes me back to the days of tailfin cars and my parents and other adult relatives drinking Falstaff beer and listening to the Cardinals on a transistor radio, while hamburgers and hotdogs simmer on the grill. Plus, eating Elmer’s is much cheaper than a Corvette.
Kevin, history may be kinder to 43 than you think. Lets look at he candidates we have had to choose from.
2000 Al Gore a creature of his father, Armand Hammer and a life of never working in private enterprise.
2004 John Kerry another political hack who married well twice, is considered lazy in the senate and unwilling to substantiate his military service without impugning his fellow swiftboaters.
2000 & 2004 George Bush who failed at being an oil man, twice and only made his money outside of family at the courtesy of Bill DeWitt and Mercer Reynolds of Cincinnati and Ballpark village fame.
2008 Barack Obama a Chicago politician and union leader who has accomplished nothing as a political leader.
2008 John McCain a distinguished veteran who is too old and been around Washington too long.
Why can’t we in any system come up with better candidates?
Mr Bush is being blamed for a lot of things that he couldn”t control,
including hurricanes faulty intelligence and an inabilty to articulate any position with clarity but right or wrong I personally believe when he speaks on issues he sincerely believes his position however incorrec and most importantly the bad people in this world believ him.
Now my concluding comment is how will newspaper historians look back at the continuing demise of the Post Dispatch.
-Go_Fish
“I remember when Mr Horrigan’s columns were on occassion clever. What happened?”
I think he had to eliminate clever because you didn’t catch on.