In the first Town and County Deer Debate in 2000, this editorial page was accused of “bubba-ism” for not taking seriously the possibility that an overabundance of white-tailed deer in an affluent suburb could be solved without (eeww!) violence.

We simply had noted that it was costing Town and Country $367 apiece to trap deer and relocate them to Crawford County, and many of them died anyway. At the time, TWA (an airline of sainted memory) was offering a $358 bargain fare to Paris. We suggested T&C could save money by flying its surplus deer to Paris.

Now Deer Debate II rages in T&C. This time, the forces of animal rights are proposing birth control for the deer. Without getting into how you get a condom on a buck or get the does to take the pill, we have our doubts.

The T&C Board of Aldermen’s Deer Task Force apparently has doubts, too. The Post-Dispatch’s Stephen Deere (how cool is that?) reports that the task force will recommend either (a) hiring professional sharpshooters to thin the herd or (b) allowing bow hunters to take their shots.

At the risk of being accused of bubba-ism, we have another idea: The Wall Street Journal reported this week that Komodo dragons — the world’s largest lizards — are starting to eat goats and even small children on the remote Indonesian islands where they live. Some islanders blame a U.S. environmental consulting group that has stopped them from hunting deer in Komodo National Park.

The islanders used to leave chunks of deer meat out for the dragons. Now that they don’t, the dragons are taking matters into their own claws.
Obvious solution: Whack T&C’s deer population. Ship meat to Komodo National Park. Dragons eat venison. Goats and small children survive. Superb eco-tourism site is preserved. Deer die in a good cause.

No thanks necessary.

 Special Bonus Link:  If you’ve never heard Bob Elliott and Ray Goulding’s classic “Komodo Dragon” interview, you can hear it here.