As you may have noticed, the Tigers have been just a bit clumsy in the field during this World Series.

Baseball’s biggest stage isn’t treating them well at all. They’ve heard the “Benny Hill” theme music over the Busch Stadium sound system and it couldn’t be more appropriate.

Here is what some of Tipsheet’s favorite scribes have been writing about this:

Gene Wojciechowski, ESPN.com: “To the tens of baseball fans who are watching the lowest-rated World Series in history, hang in there. It’s almost over. Only nine innings and one more victory separate the St. Louis Cardinals from their first World Series championship since 1982 . . . and the Detroit Tigers from a long, painful offseason of watching Tom Emanski instructional fielding videos.”

Bill Plaschke, Los Angeles Times: “Balls are bouncing off gloves and between legs. Outfielder are holding impromptu fire drills — stopping, dropping and rolling. And pitchers, well, let’s just say that all Tigers pitchers should be required to show up at Kenny Rogers’ locker before every game with their palms out, pine tar apparently being the only substance that can keep them from throwing the ball to Illinois. Four games into a World Series, and the most amazing statistic is that the Tigers have already set the record for most World Series errors by pitchers with four.”

Thomas Boswell, Washington Post: “The Tigers had six days off between winning the American League pennant and opening the World Series. Nobody knew quite what the team should do with all that spare time. Now they do. They should have sent their pitchers to Lakeland, Fla., to their spring training camp to practice the simplest fielding plays in baseball. They needed to remember how to field a soft ground ball without bobbling it. Recall how to throw a routine pickoff to first base with a slow runner on base without heaving it into the right field corner. Learn not to throw to third base when you have an easy double play by throwing to second; and if you do throw to third, don’t miss the third baseman by 10 feet so two runs can score. And, finally, in a Game 4 which will probably be seen as the pivot point in the Series, don’t through a simple sacrifice bunt into the right field corner.”

Mitch Albom, Detroit Free-Press: “This is what the brink looks like. It looks like a ball flying over your head and you chase it running backward and your legs go out from under you, like someone pulled the tablecloth, down you go, down in wet grass, and you scramble to your feet but the ball is coming down, too late, too late, a sure out has turned into a double. Your uniform is wet. Your face is red. This is what the brink looks like. A simple bunt, coming your way, and you run off the mound, and you pick it up, you throw to first base, a simple out — isn’t it simple? — but you throw too high, it soars over the fielder’s head, a run comes in, the game is tied. Your heart is racing. Your face is red. This is what the brink looks like. A two-out line shot that comes flying your way, and you dig and you dig and you leap and the ball hits your glove — and then bounces off the webbing. You fall to the ground. The winning run scores. You are wet. You are angry. The whole stadium is red.”

MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE

Questions to ponder while wondering what, exactly, got into David Eckstein Thursday night:

• Since when is he Derek Jeter?
• Are we to presume Scott Rolen’s shoulder is feeling much better these days?
• And speaking of timely outbursts, isn’t Albert Pujols about due to go off on the Tigers pitching?
• Doesn’t it seem, well, odd to send Jeff Weaver onto the mound for a potentially historic Cardinals game?

QUIPS “R US

Here is what some of America’s leading sports pundits have been writing on other topics:

Bill Simmons, ESPN.com, on the promise of Matt Leinart: “I just don’t get it. The Bills passed on Leinart because they already had J.P. Losman, which is like passing on a brand-new BMW because you’re all set with your Hyundai. The Raiders passed because they love to throw deep and didn’t believe Leinart could reach Randy Moss, so they drafted a safety and signed Aaron Brooks. (Hold on, we have to wait for the Raiders fans who are reading this to stop punching themselves in the head.) The Lions passed because Matt Millen is determined to pass Isiah Thomas as the worst executive in sports history. We all remember Leinart’s stunned reaction as he was falling on draft day, but maybe he wasn’t thinking, Shoot, I should have come out last year, as much as, What are these teams thinking?”

Mike Bianchi, Orlando Sentinel, on University of Miami football: “Actually, you know what the ‘Canes are like with their false bravado and out-of-fashion 1980s gangsta reputation? They’re like your aging hippie friend from the ’60s. They used to be cool, but now they’re just a sad, little bald guy with a ponytail.”

Peter Schrager, FoxSports.com: “Forget the San Diego Charger powder blues; I’m all about the Clemson purples. Orange and purple should be combined nowhere outside a Crayola crayon box. And yet, the Tigers pulled the color combo off yet again this weekend. They’re hideous, they’re strange and they’re beautiful all at once. And I’m convinced that they’re completely responsible for Saturday night’s win over the Yellow Jackets.”

Jim Armstrong, Denver Post: You’ll be glad to know the T-shirt business remains brisk outside Browns Stadium. The hottest seller? The one with “Got teeth?’ on the front and “Toothlessberger’ on the back, as in Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger.”

MEGAPHONE

“The only bad thing is you sit around. You want to play. You’re very anxious. It’s a World Series baseball game and something you’re very excited for, and you have to wait and wait and wait. It’s very tough to do.”

Tigers third baseman Brandon Inge, on waiting out the rain.