Patriots superfan Victor Thompson could have purchased a Randy Moss replica jersey to celebrate New England’s return to the Super Bowl.Or he could have pulled somebody’s old hoodie out of a dumpster so he could dress like Bill Belichick.

But no, Thompson wanted to go to the next level. So he is having a tattoo artist replicate a Patriots helmet on his skull. WMUR-TV has been all over this story.

“It just popped into my head that I wanted it to look like Tom Brady’s helmet,” Thompson told the station.

“He’s kind of off the wall,” said House of Tattoo artist Gary Laroche said.

Why do people do such things to themselves? “If you change the way their appearance is, it boosts their ego and makes them feel better,” Laroche said.

Thompson agreed. “I feel awesome,” he said. “I feel like the Pats now.”

(Eventually the Patriots will go back to playing 5-11 football. They all do in the NFL. Then what?)

Elsewhere on the football fanaticism front, Maxim.com is looking for those female Packers fans photographed wearing bikinis in the sub-zero weather in Green Bay Sunday.

“These girls stood by their team in the sexiest way possible, turning the Packer loss into our gain!” Maxim.com noted. “These girls were spotted in the third quarter and now we want to know who they are!

“Do you know them, know someone who knows them? Send me their info and I’ll get you more images.”

If they’re still alive, that is.

MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE

Questions to ponder while the Blues slowly sink in the Western Conference standings:

• Are Keith Tkachuk and friends a little tired to playing the Nashville Predators yet?
• Who could have possibly guessed Anthony Hargrove would earn a year-long NFL suspension for substance abuse?
• Will Serena Williams revisit her conditioning regimen after withering at the Australian Open?
• Will Pat Riley’s Miami Heat ever win another basketball game?

QUIPS ‘R US

Here is what some of America’s leading sports pundits have been writing:

Dwight Perry, Seattle Times: “John Daly withdrew from the Bob Hope Chrysler Classic on Saturday, citing a rib injury. So does that mean he injured a rib, or got injured trying to swallow one?”

Bob Molinaro, Norfolk Virginian-Pilot: “With the death of Bobby Fischer at 64, we’re reminded of the early ’70s, when Fischer vs. Boris Spassky was as big as Ali-Frazier, and chess matches were covered like the Super Bowl. Remember that the next time you think the sports landscape has never been screwier than it is today.”

Norman Chad, syndicated columnist, on the hapless New Jersey Institute of Technology: “Against Manhattan, NJIT missed 40 of 48 field goal attempts. Last week in a 64-33 loss to Cornell, the Highlanders missed 32 of 40 field goal attempts. They have not shot 50 percent from the field in any game this season; in fact, in six games they have shot under 50 percent from the foul line. If an NJIT player fell out of the team bus while on the Garden State Parkway, he wouldn’t hit pavement.”

Bill Simmons, ESPN.com: “If we’re comparing 2007 movies to 2007 NFL teams, ‘Margot at the Wedding’ would definitely be Kansas City — a promising start followed by everything going straight to hell, to the point that fans/customers were staring at each other in disbelief wondering what was happening. Bonus points here for the fact careers were ruined in the process. Herm Edwards as an NFL coach, Jack Black as a serious actor. I’d like my $10 back, please.”

Scott Ostler, San Francisco Chronicle: “Six years ago Goose Gossage couldn’t crack 50 percent of the Hall of Fame vote. This year he got 85.6 percent. Along with his Hall of Fame plaque, Goose should get the award for Most Improved Player.”

MEGAPHONE

“He’s cheap and dirty, and the head man just let him get away with it the whole time. They’ve got 10 great players, and when Jarvis Green is on the field they have 11 great players that compete how you’re supposed to compete. But that Richard Seymour is the biggest (expletive) I’ve ever played. Head-slapping, foot-stomping in the pile, running by and throwing punches in your back late. He’s a (expletive).”

Chargers center Nick Hardwick.