A day ago, Tipsheet felt terrible for Kevin Hart.

The Fernley, Nev., high school offensive lineman had announced his oral commitment to California. The ceremony occurred in a packed school gymnasium with his family on hand. Reporters were also there to chronicle his special day.

Then came word that Cal never wanted him; apparently he had been duped by somebody claiming to be coach Jeff Tedford.

Or maybe a shadowy recruiting consultant defrauded him. Now we know the real story: Hart made the whole story up.

“I wanted to play D-I ball more than anything. When I realized that wasn’t going to happen, I made up what I wanted to be reality,” read a statement sent out by Teri White, assistant superintendent of the Lyon County School District, on behalf of Hart. “I am sorry for disappointing and embarrassing my family, coaches, Fernley High School, the involved universities and reporters covering the story.”

Ouch.

MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE

Questions to ponder while waiting for the Tar Heels to give Tyler Hansbrough a little help against Duke:

• Why Brian McNamee would keep old syringes he used on Roger Clemens? Was he hoping to put them up for sale on eBay some day?
• Was he going to use this stuff as, um, leverage against the Rocket?
• Will Charlie Weis make anything of his tremendous recruiting class? Or will he continue pining for the NFL?
• Now that Dick Vitale is back on TV screaming at us, do we all feel whole again?
• So how will Bob Knight blow off steam during his retirement years? Browbeat Wal-Mart greeters? Protest the pudding selection at Hometown Buffet? Throw chairs on Bingo Night?
• Should Roger Goodell hire George Mitchell to launch a two-year Spygate probe?

LICENSED MERCHANDISE FROM LOSERVILLE

So what happens to all those 19-0 Patriots T-shirts? New Englanders sure won’t buy them, so the folks at World Vision will ship them to disadvantaged children in more than 100 countries.

Also going overseas: Super Bowl shirts with Packers and Chargers logos.

LETTERMAN’S LIST

CBS funnyman David Letterman offered his “Top Ten Patriots Excuses.” They included:

• Since when is that dude allowed to catch a ball with his head?
• Terrified by the Fox football robot.
• Everything was fine until Dr. Phil tried to straighten us out.
• Should have campaigned harder in Florida.
• Entire team stayed up late night before watching Hannah Montana concert movie.
• Exhausted after spending hours consoling a weepy Terrell Owens.
• Thought game was supposed to be played on Super Tuesday.
• Airline lost our ‘roids.

QUIPS ‘R US

Here is what some of America’s leading sports pundits have been writing:

Rick Telander, Chicago Sun-Times: “If Knight had been able to tell the real fights from the irrelevant ones and showed even a semblance of courtesy, he would be anointed right now as one of the greatest U.S. social leaders ever. He would not be handing the reins of a dusty, back-country hoops program to his son Patrick, in a state where football and spring football are the two biggest sports. No, imagine a civil Knight finishing at Indiana, where he was meant to be, where he was king and pope, after, say, 40 years, with more than 1,000 victories and the undying admiration of the global hoops community. He blew all that.”

Mark Kriegel, FoxSports.com: “On the occasion of Super Bowl XLII, Bill Belichick had a terrible night. It happens to the best of coaches. Still, Belichick’s virtues as a coach are less apparent than his flaws as a man. By now, everyone knows he’s not paid to be a good sport. Still, the manner of his exit made you think. So much for riding off into the sunset. Perhaps, in Belichick’s case, a subterranean departure was apropos.”

Jerry Greene, Orlando Sentinel: “Remember that guy who was getting his head tattooed so that it would look like a Patriots helmet? Think he feels like a fool?”

(Actually, no, he doesn’t. Victor Thompson claims he is continuing with the project. He even hopes to get Tom Brady to autograph his skull in tattoo form. As for the Super Bowl loss, he tried to take in stride. “After the game ended I started (partying) … I woke up drunk. It was a good thing I had my helmet on.”)

MEGAPHONE

“You want to talk about the upset of the year, all the upsets in college football this season? This is the upset of the year. We’re 3-9 and we land the top, or one of the top, recruiting classes in the country?”

Notre Dame coach Charlie Weis.