Tonya Harding lives!
Tipsheet hasn’t heard from disgraced figure skater Tonya Harding for a while, so we were wondering what she was up to.
The answer: The same old same old, grubbing for dollars and trying to survive. WLKY-TV tells us Harding was supposed to participate in a boxing exhibition match Friday night at the Boonedocks bar in Meade County, Ky.
“This was a way to get our name out, short of getting Willie Nelson or somebody like that in here,” bar owner Duke Williams said. “Everybody knows Tonya Harding. Even my kids that wasn’t born when she was an ice skater knows Tonya Harding.”
But isn’t she just a novelty these days?
“Absolutely,” Harding said. “But the good thing is they still come to see me, whether they like me, whether they don’t like me. But they’re paying my bills. So, hey.”
Alas, the spoilsports at the Kentucky Professional Boxing and Wrestling Authority said the “bout” couldn’t happen without a licensed referee and medical personnel. So it was nixed.
Williams was puzzled. “I’d call Mike Tyson a professional fighter. I guess I never thought of Tonya Harding as a professional fighter,” he said. “I apologize to her for that.”
No word on whether Tonya plans to apologize for everything else.
MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE
Questions to ponder while wondering what purpose the Pro Bowl actually serves:
- If the players consider this game a great honor, why do so many guys skip it?
- Are we finally starting to see full buy-in by Rick Majerus’ stepchildren?
- So how will Barry Bonds spend this baseball season while to face his federal charges?
- Is Terrelle Pryor ever going to make up his mind?
HYPING THE GATE
In Sunday’s New York Times, Rusty Hardin, the colorful attorney representing Roger Clemens, had harsh words for IRS Special Agent Jeff Novitzky.
He said it would be “brazen” and “unbelievable” if Jeff Novitzky, a key prosecutor in the BALCO drug cases, attends The Rocket’s Congressional hearing.
“If he ever messes with Roger, Roger will eat his lunch,” Hardin warned.
That’s good stuff, certain to get more folks to tune in. But it also sounds like an “attempt to intimidate a federal law enforcement official in the performance of his official duties,” according to House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform chairman Rep. Henry Waxman.
So Rusty needs to simmer down.
QUIPS ‘R US
Here is what some of America’s leading sports pundits have been writing:
Dan Daly, Washington Times: “It was a sad week in Lubbock after Texas Tech basketball coach Bobby Knight resigned in midseason. The flags were at half-mast, and the folding chairs at Wal-Mart were half off.”
Mike Bianchi, Orlando Sentinel: “If the Bill BeliCheats did spy on theSt. Louis Rams on the eve of their first Super Bowl victory, then not only should BeliCheat be fired, but every Super Bowl he ever won as coach of the Patriots should be stripped away and awarded to the teams he cheat to beat.”
Jay Mariotti, Chicago Sun-Times, on embattled Illini coach Bruce Weber: “He won with Bill Self’s players, as he hears at least once an hour his every working day, but by any measure, he has failed to capitalize on that high-profile, national-spotlight moment. Sure, he has had some difficult circumstances – (Eric) Gordon, Jamar Smith’s DUI arrest, academic issues. But really now, don’t all programs have issues? The good programs overcome them, the mediocre programs do not, and I remind you that Weber doesn’t preside over a mid-major that should be protected by media apologists. This is ILLINOIS. And the Deron-and-Dee momentum is gone.”
Noman Chad, syndicated columnist, on Dick Vitale: “I lived in one apartment in which the sound of Vitale’s voice would clear the kitchen of cockroaches. In another one of my neighborhoods, any time Vitale would do an ACC game, all the dogs on the block would bark and bay from the opening tip to the final buzzer.”
Greg Cote, Miami Herald: “Please help me spread a rumor that Barack Obama is the younger brother of Colts coach Tony Dungy. (It’s the ears, I think). Thank you.”
Scott Ostler, San Francisco Chronicle: “Had Tiger Woods taken up skateboarding as a kid, (Vijay) Singh would be hailed as one of history’s greatest golfers. Instead, he’s just a member of Tiger’s supporting cast. And despite all Singh’s wins and his heroic rise to greatness from a lowly background, the Singhster has never caught on as a people’s champion.”
Bill Simmons, ESPN.com: “When the 2002 Pats shocked the Rams, there was a sense of ‘Oh my God, did we really do that?’ — as personified by (Tom) Brady holding his hands on his head in disbelief during the trophy celebration. When the Giants won, it seemed like they truly believed they could win and had a better team, and all the NFL Films footage backs this up. Watching the highlights and seeing all the recap shows, New York’s confidence was somewhat startling under the circumstances. And it worked for them.”
MEGAPHONE
“It’s easier for me to get an arena built in Shanghai than it is to get a football stadium done in L.A. I think I might get a football team in Shanghai before L.A.”
Sports executive Tim Leiweke.
Will Billy Devaney really help the Rams? He comes from those powerhouses San Francisco and Atlanta. Looks like Zygmunt hired another guy who won’t help improve the franchise.
I read where Barret Jackman’s agent is looking for $4 - $5M per year. Jackman already makes $2.2M, for which he leads the club with a minus 16 and has scored a whopping five points. It may be time to trade him for some scoring since the defense can not get much worse.
Tanya Harding…bowling…and Kentucky. Cue in the banjo music!
Boy do I hate Mondays! And the Rams, the Blues, and the Cardinals front office…I just know I can do a better job than everyone else.
But I do like men…
I think it’s time for the NHL to dump shootouts (and three point games for the matter). The novilty of it was nice right after the NHL returned from the lockout, but it’s worn off this year. I know it’s easy to say this when the Blues lose in most of them, but even when they win, it’s a gimmick way to earn the same amount of points as a standard win, while the other teams that earn points for losing make the definition of over/under .500 way out of whack. The NHL’s popularity hasn’t exactly skyrocketed since 1999 (when three point games were first introduced), so it’s time to just go back to the old fashioned win, lose, or draw, and have the entire league at .500 like every other sports league on the planet.
As for Bill Simmons, please stop comparing the Patriots to the 2001 Rams. The Pats have won three superbowls, have been worshipped by the east coast media, but got what they deserved last week. The 2001 Rams had a team full of class (Warner, Bruce, Aeneas Williams) that was cheated out of a victory and a dynasty. Your “pain” will never be the same as ours.
Word up, Lando. The Rams 2001 loss still gets to me!
Lando, gotta disagree on the shootouts. It’s not the ideal way to win a game, and thankfully they don’t use them in playoffs (like in soccer), but ending games in ties just isn’t any better, and playing until someone wins just isn’t feasible with the NHL schedule. I don’t have a better solution than shootouts, but a tie just doesn’t cut it.
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