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02.25.2008 7:28 am

Worst. College hoops team. Ever.

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Sure, this has been an exasperating season for Illinois basketball. The Illini lost prized recruit Eric Gordon to Indiana – where coach Kelvin Sampson just got canned for cheating  — then collapsed because of erratic guard play.

If Bruce Weber doesn’t turn the program with his next recruiting class, he will move onto the endangered coaches list.

SLU and Mizzou also have issues. Both programs sit well back in their conference packs. First-year Billikens coach Rick Majerus and second-year Tigers coach Mike Anderson must reload with impressive recruiting classes.

But it could be worse, as syndicated columnist Norman Chad notes: “In just its second year in Division I, the New Jersey Institute of Technology men’s basketball team completed its improbable perfect season of losing, falling to Utah Valley State, 76-50, Saturday to finish 0-29. The Highlanders, following form, missed 29 of 44 shots. My message to the NJIT hoopsters: Get your degrees!”

Here are some lowlights of the season:

  • The 0-29 finish was the worst in Division I history, edging 0-28 finishes by Prairie View (1992) and Savannah State (2005).
  • They came within nine points of victory twice, both times on the road. Once at Lehigh and once at Stony Brook.
  • NJIT has lost 33 games in a row, and counting.
  • The Highlanders are the only Division I team this season with more turnovers (577) than field goals (550).
  • Coach Jim Casciano resigned last week, before the final loss of the season. “You keep waking up and it’s the same thing,” he said.

“You can’t let it get to you,” senior Kraig Peters said. “There’s a lot of stuff that’s five times worse than this. I would never regret playing here.”

Freshman point guard Jeryl Wilson wasn’t so sure. “It’s been hard,” he said. “I’m just hoping to forget about it in a month or two. High school was fun. This is completely the opposite.”

MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE

Questions to ponder while waiting for the Blues to revive their offense:

  • Do the Missouri Tigers have enough to make a late push?
  • Who could have guessed that Illinois and Michigan would be a combined 8-22 in Big Ten play this season?
  • Will Tiger Woods ever lose again?

QUIPS ‘R US

Here is what some of America’s leading sports pundits have been writing:

Mike Bianchi, Orlando Sentinel: “In honor of Sunday night’s Academy Awards, here are my final nominations for Best Sports Picture: (1) Michael Vick’s 101 Dead Dalmatians; (2) The Graduate: An inspirational masterpiece about the lone basketball player who got his degree under Bob Huggins; (3) The Way We Were: Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens reflect on their lives before their heads grew into pumpkins; (4) Sacks, Lies and Videotape: The Bill BeliCheat Story; (5) Apocalypse Now: What will happen if the Tampa Bay Rays ever finish with a winning record.”

Scott Ostler
, San Francisco Chronicle: “Did Roger Clemens attend Jose Canseco’s barbecue? Clemens should check with his appointment & inoculation secretary, Miss Remembers.”

Mike Lupica, New York Daily News: “Next time Jose Canseco has a party, they ought to have a red carpet and let that “E!” channel cover it. Just to eliminate the guesswork later on.”

Dan Daly, Washington Times: “Desperate for somebody to share the blame with, Wayne Huizenga has sold half the Miami Dolphins to Stephen Ross, a New York builder. Huizenga, I’m told, is keeping the 1-7 half and giving his new partner the 0-8 half.”

Greg Cote, Miami Herald: “NASCAR has seen its television ratings fall two consecutive years. Officials blame the fact so many rednecks have had their TVs repossessed.”

Bill Simmons, ESPN.com, praising Danny Ferry’s trade maneuvers for the Cavaliers: “Ferry was able to trade an overpaid guard who actually drove a frustrated Cavs fan to create a site called www.heylarryhughespleasestoptakingsomanybadshots.com and update it every day . . . I mean, even if you got back a dead body for Larry Hughes, it would have been a moral victory.”

Jay Mariotti, Chicago Sun-Times: “Have you ever seen such a sorry quarterback hold a city hostage for so long? Welcome to Year Six of Turnoversaurus Rex, an experiment that should have ended last season but is prolonged to ad nauseum by an organization of dubious competence. What the Bears see in Rex Grossman, I have no idea, but all we see is a flub machine who has spent his last 24 regular-season games throwing 27 interceptions and committing 14 fumbles.”

Daly again: “Despite the Fins’ recent struggles, the value of the franchise has increased an estimated $804 million, from $138 million to $942 million, since Huizenga bought it from the heirs of club founder Joe Robbie 14 years ago. No truth to the rumor, by the way, that the Robbie family has changed its name to the Robbed family.”

MEGAPHONE

“It’s embarrassing, it’s disappointing, it’s everything It’s tough, no matter who you play, to lose by 30 points.”

Suns guard Steve Nash, after the Pistons waxed his team Sunday.

67 comments

Comments are closed.

New Jersey Institute of Technology or Sam Houston Institute of Technology?

— eldonaldo
8:28 am February 25th, 2008

[...] Worst. College hoops team. Ever.St. Louis Post-Dispatch - Greg Cote , Miami Herald : NASCAR has seen its television ratings fall two consecutive years. Officials blame the fact so many rednecks have had their TVs repossessed. [...]

Too bad the Blues are fading…at least this year was much better than 2006-2007. It will be interesting to see which defensemen are traded for some forwards. Let’s hope the forwards in the pipeline will contribute next season, especially on the power play.

Bonds in the Cardinal lineup (I thought Tony cut back on the wine)?? I guess it makes sense when you consider S.W.’s “Roidbird” theory.

— Ten High
9:37 am February 25th, 2008

Who would have guess LaRussa would want Bonds on the Cardinals? I guess LaRussa wasn’t happy just having the 2nd biggest steroid cheat MLB history, his wanted the # 1 biggest steroid cheat in MLB history. I guess the good news is that at least some people in the organization still care about the organization’s reputation.

— Bill Lumberg
10:11 am February 25th, 2008

Bonds would at least get me to watch this team.

— tyler durden
11:21 am February 25th, 2008

Yo Lumberg are you incapable of abstract thought? BigMac and Bonds are not cheaters. They simply compete as every other ball player does.

— karlmarx
12:07 pm February 25th, 2008

What is it with people not wanting to win now. All LaRussa is trying to do is put togehter a team that has a chance to do something this year. Who gives a crap about what he allegedly put in his body…or that he may have cheated…you think bonds is the first guy ever to cheat…or do something illegal (jeezo we probably wouldn’t be able to have half the guys in baseball on the Cards by your standards)…I’m tired of all these Liberal Left Wing Holier Than Though nuts pretending like they care about the ”game” when they were complict…just like all of us were during the home run boon of the late 90’s…bring on bonds…

— mos def
12:10 pm February 25th, 2008

Bill,

Quit bashing TLR. He is one of the greatest managers of all time. If you think you can do a better job, why don’t you stop posting here and go get a managerial job for some big league team? Maybe you can make a winner out of the Tampa Bay Devil Rays.
As for Bonds and the other steroid cheat that you mention, at least they did whatever it took to make themselves better ballplayers. You didn’t even bother to proofread your post before submitting your comment.

— Peter Gibbons
12:10 pm February 25th, 2008

If I come here, Busch Stadium will become BALCO Stadium.

— Barry Bonds
12:12 pm February 25th, 2008

sorry mos def, but its been the Conservative Right Wing Holier Than Thou nut jobs that have been the main pushers for all the congressional hearings. As a LLWHTTNJ myself, I take offense to being blamed for wasting tax dollars when they should just go with the evidence they have and prosecute. If they won’t prosecute, then they need to let it go. If Congress is serious about this, then they need to hold MLB responsible for not doing something about it sooner and take away their anti-trust exeption.

— whatthetlr?
2:06 pm February 25th, 2008

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