Worst. College hoops team. Ever.
Sure, this has been an exasperating season for Illinois basketball. The Illini lost prized recruit Eric Gordon to Indiana – where coach Kelvin Sampson just got canned for cheating — then collapsed because of erratic guard play.
If Bruce Weber doesn’t turn the program with his next recruiting class, he will move onto the endangered coaches list.
SLU and Mizzou also have issues. Both programs sit well back in their conference packs. First-year Billikens coach Rick Majerus and second-year Tigers coach Mike Anderson must reload with impressive recruiting classes.
But it could be worse, as syndicated columnist Norman Chad notes: “In just its second year in Division I, the New Jersey Institute of Technology men’s basketball team completed its improbable perfect season of losing, falling to Utah Valley State, 76-50, Saturday to finish 0-29. The Highlanders, following form, missed 29 of 44 shots. My message to the NJIT hoopsters: Get your degrees!”
Here are some lowlights of the season:
- The 0-29 finish was the worst in Division I history, edging 0-28 finishes by Prairie View (1992) and Savannah State (2005).
- They came within nine points of victory twice, both times on the road. Once at Lehigh and once at Stony Brook.
- NJIT has lost 33 games in a row, and counting.
- The Highlanders are the only Division I team this season with more turnovers (577) than field goals (550).
- Coach Jim Casciano resigned last week, before the final loss of the season. “You keep waking up and it’s the same thing,” he said.
“You can’t let it get to you,” senior Kraig Peters said. “There’s a lot of stuff that’s five times worse than this. I would never regret playing here.”
Freshman point guard Jeryl Wilson wasn’t so sure. “It’s been hard,” he said. “I’m just hoping to forget about it in a month or two. High school was fun. This is completely the opposite.”
MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE
Questions to ponder while waiting for the Blues to revive their offense:
- Do the Missouri Tigers have enough to make a late push?
- Who could have guessed that Illinois and Michigan would be a combined 8-22 in Big Ten play this season?
- Will Tiger Woods ever lose again?
QUIPS ‘R US
Here is what some of America’s leading sports pundits have been writing:
Mike Bianchi, Orlando Sentinel: “In honor of Sunday night’s Academy Awards, here are my final nominations for Best Sports Picture: (1) Michael Vick’s 101 Dead Dalmatians; (2) The Graduate: An inspirational masterpiece about the lone basketball player who got his degree under Bob Huggins; (3) The Way We Were: Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens reflect on their lives before their heads grew into pumpkins; (4) Sacks, Lies and Videotape: The Bill BeliCheat Story; (5) Apocalypse Now: What will happen if the Tampa Bay Rays ever finish with a winning record.”
Scott Ostler, San Francisco Chronicle: “Did Roger Clemens attend Jose Canseco’s barbecue? Clemens should check with his appointment & inoculation secretary, Miss Remembers.”
Mike Lupica, New York Daily News: “Next time Jose Canseco has a party, they ought to have a red carpet and let that “E!” channel cover it. Just to eliminate the guesswork later on.”
Dan Daly, Washington Times: “Desperate for somebody to share the blame with, Wayne Huizenga has sold half the Miami Dolphins to Stephen Ross, a New York builder. Huizenga, I’m told, is keeping the 1-7 half and giving his new partner the 0-8 half.”
Greg Cote, Miami Herald: “NASCAR has seen its television ratings fall two consecutive years. Officials blame the fact so many rednecks have had their TVs repossessed.”
Bill Simmons, ESPN.com, praising Danny Ferry’s trade maneuvers for the Cavaliers: “Ferry was able to trade an overpaid guard who actually drove a frustrated Cavs fan to create a site called www.heylarryhughespleasestoptakingsomanybadshots.com and update it every day . . . I mean, even if you got back a dead body for Larry Hughes, it would have been a moral victory.”
Jay Mariotti, Chicago Sun-Times: “Have you ever seen such a sorry quarterback hold a city hostage for so long? Welcome to Year Six of Turnoversaurus Rex, an experiment that should have ended last season but is prolonged to ad nauseum by an organization of dubious competence. What the Bears see in Rex Grossman, I have no idea, but all we see is a flub machine who has spent his last 24 regular-season games throwing 27 interceptions and committing 14 fumbles.”
Daly again: “Despite the Fins’ recent struggles, the value of the franchise has increased an estimated $804 million, from $138 million to $942 million, since Huizenga bought it from the heirs of club founder Joe Robbie 14 years ago. No truth to the rumor, by the way, that the Robbie family has changed its name to the Robbed family.”
MEGAPHONE
“It’s embarrassing, it’s disappointing, it’s everything It’s tough, no matter who you play, to lose by 30 points.”
Suns guard Steve Nash, after the Pistons waxed his team Sunday.
New Jersey Institute of Technology or Sam Houston Institute of Technology?