Once again, former slugger Jose Canseco is grabbing headlines with a tell-all book, “Vindicated: Big Names, Big Liars, and The Battle to Save Baseball.”

The highlight of the book, apparently, is the claim that Canseco introduced Alex Rodriguez to a steroids dealer named “Max.”

On ABC’s “Nightline,” Canseco was pressed for more info on “Max.”

“The timing’s not right,” Jose said.

Pressed further, he said: “Let’s see how Alex reacts to this. Let’s see if they call me a liar again. How’s that for ya? Let’s see if all of a sudden they’re gonna call me a liar again.”

A-Rod is staying on the high road, refusing to comment on the allegations. So we’re not sure we’ll ever get to meet “Max.”

As for the book, it may not win a Pulitzer Prize. And the concept of Canseco writing a book amused much-decorated author Pat Jordan, who had this observation for Deadspin:

“I tried to picture Jose writing his book and his movie. Hunched over, his broad shoulders casting a shadow across his desk like a raptor’s wings, his brow furrowed in concentration, his massively muscled body tensed in anticipation of that torrent of words about to flow out of him like urine for one of the many steroid tests he’d been forced to take during his baseball career. I wondered, just how does Jose write? Like Shakespeare, with a quill pen on parchment? Like Dickens, wearing a green eye shade while seated at a clerk’s desk? Like Hemingway, standing at a lectern in Finca Vigia, with a stubby pencil and unlined paper? Like Thomas Wolfe, in his Victorian house in Ashville, pounding away on a tall, black, manual Underwood? Or maybe the words flow out of Jose in such a torrent, 10,000 an hour, that he can relieve himself adequately of his thoughts only by tap-tap-tapping on a lightning fast computer, like Stephen King?”

That, or he busts out a box of Crayolas and a Snoopy tablet.

MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE

Questions to ponder while breathlessly awaiting Juan Gonzalez’s next comeback:

• Can anybody stop – or even contain – red-hot Cards outfielder Skip Schumaker?
• Given the Cards looming surplus of outfielders and pitchers, should they consider a bid for Orioles leadoff man Brian Roberts?
• Will UCLA continue getting every conceivable break from NCAA officials?
• What took the NFL so long to address runaway hair length?

TIGER’S KRYPTONITE

Just when we thought Tiger Woods would win every golf tournament he played this year, a photographer’s click killed his streak.

This distraction derailed him at Doral. He responded with a profanity-laced tirade and threatened future mayhem against photographers clicking away during his downswing.

Later, he addressed the outburst an interview with ESPN. “You have no idea what’s been said on the golf course all the time, in any sport really,” Woods added. “It was the heat of the moment. That one shot took the momentum that I had built on No. 8.”

Yeah, well, he better get used to it. The photographers aren’t going away any time soon.

QUIPS ‘R US

Here is what some of America’s leading sports pundits have been writing:

Jay Mariotti, Chicago Sun-Times, objecting to baseball opening its season in Japan: “It is our sport and our holiday, not to be rented out any more than the Brits would allow the Premier League to launch in East Rutherford, N.J. Opening Day always has been a vital part of our sports romance, the raising of an emotional curtain between winter and spring, especially in places like Chicago where the winters are endless hell. There still was snow on the ground in this town when the defending champion Red Sox — on a two-run double in the 10th inning by Manny Ramirez.”

Jerry Greene, Orlando Sentinel: “The Marlins ‘develop players’ in the same way KFC develop chickens — to be sold before they spoil. Last season the Marlins lost only 90 games, so they got rid of all-star third baseman Miguel Cabrera and ace lefty Dontrelle Willis, selling them to Detroit. In return? A bunch of minor leaguers and a 22-year-old left-handed pitcher, Andrew Miller, who has all of 64 innings pitched in the bigs with a 5.63 ERA.”

Steve Rosenbloom, ChicagoSports.com: “Texas A&M’s Donald Sloan drives the lane, gets hacked, no call, UCLA wins a two-point game. That’s the third major, obvious, head-shaking blown call that benefited UCLA in the last month. Jeez, you’d think the Bruins came across a previously undiscovered stash of Sam Gilbert money to take care of everyone in stripes.”

Bill Simmons, ESPN.com: “It’s incredible to me that Shaq, one of the 12 greatest players of all-time, doesn’t get any respect from the refs at this stage of his career. Remember the way Kareem was treated from 1985 to 1989? You couldn’t breathe on him without getting a foul, which made no sense because nobody liked Kareem! Meanwhile, everyone loves Shaq and he gets called like he’s Jamaal Magloire. It’s legitimately bizarre. Even Reggie Miller was getting every call at the end of his career, and he wasn’t one-fourth of the player that Shaq was. I don’t get it.”

Scott Ostler, San Francisco Chronicle: “That must have been scary when Shaquille O’Neal launched himself into the expensive seats while chasing a ball at a recent game. Nobody was seriously injured, and one fan reportedly said, ‘I’m just thankful it was Shaq himself and not one of his stray free-throws.’”

MEGAPHONE

“I’ve always felt that it takes players a little bit of time to figure out New York. And I found it to be a wonderful place to play. I loved it. But it takes some time. Some players it takes longer than others. But once you figure it out, it’s an awesome place to play. He’s always going to command a lot of attention because of the type of player he is. And everything he does is going to be under a microscope. Is that fair? I don’t know if it’s fair, but it’s reality.”

Yankees manager Joe Girardi, on A-Rod.